Just an aftertaste....................

You stopped me at the first hello, an

 

older and charming handsome fellow

 

we quickly went from friends to lovers

 

I began to slaver for something more

 

I wanted to extinguish you, tasting

 

your salty skin, igniting a craving within

 

I need more to satisfy this palate, your

 

smell of blood sweet like punch, so I

 

pursue my first innocent lick and bite

 

only to get you stuck between my teeth

 

breaking fingers and splintering bones

 

I try to savor your affection in my mouth, but

 

what was once a confection has turned bitter

 

instead I had to swallow you down whole

 

bloated now from the weight of your soul.

Author's Note

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Well slap my a*s call me Charlie and tell me to see Wonka bars. The start gave me the impression the end would not be as harsh. But I loved it, the entire flow could have been someone's thoughts when lying in bed and having the ever important moment of clarity.

[Frieda P]

I had that for dinner last night.

Truly a phenomenal write...you never cease to amaze me, let me have a taste of your soul....

[Muse]

not tonight...it might give you gas. xx

:D

[Frieda P]

A headache again? ;-) xo

[Muse]

forgot the beano

[Frieda P]

Some things are just worth a bit of discomfort hun ;-)

[The 13th Eros]

There is both a pleasure and a pain in passion, and you've tasted the beautiful bittersweet life deeply. Now tell me, sweetest muse... have you found a new recipe book that will give you what you have longed for so long? May it ever be. xoxo

[Muse]

I'm working on that recipe..and still flossing. :D

[The 13th Eros]

Must keep that sweet smile shining. I know with all my heart that you'll find that perfect mix of ingredients. xoxo

[Muse]

My recipe book is not full...why do people prefer my romantic/macabre adventures? I think we are all canabals..some of us just don't want to admit it. The praying matis has a heart, she just gets hungry.

[The 13th Eros]

There is a bit of the darkness in each of us, as there is light as well. And within us that devouring hunger that cannot quite be sated. Now, I hope that you can get your fill without too many bites. ;)

[Muse]

I suffer from ying/yang bi-polar thoughts. I write for God one day...the devil the next.

[The 13th Eros]

And you know what? God loves you on both days. You are beautiful beyond belief and this moment is yours. xo

[Muse]

I had to make peace with that..yes I think you are right. xo

[The 13th Eros]

You are loved here too, and nothing can change that. xo

[Bill]

This is inspiration to all the world's "older men." Never have I wanted so badly to be extinguished, bloodied, bitten, broken, splintered, stuck between teeth, and swallowed.

Unfortunately, nobody ever notices that I'm "older," because I"m so shockingly immature.

[taboo.poet]

Wow. This was really good. I loved the grueling imagery at the end, and the tone of the novel. Like MoriartyMesa said, "the start gave me the impression the end would not be as harsh." I agree. The change of tone and imagery was unexpected, but definitely a great twist in the poem. My favorite part personally was:
"what was once a confection has turned bitter
instead I had to swallow you down whole
bloated now from the weight of your soul."
Great poem ^^ Keep writing

[Pax Analog]

Hilarious deterioration of relatively innocent desire into bored Swiftian cannibalism. It reminds me of National Lampoon's Radio Dinner parody of Desiderata, Deteriorata: "Keep in mind that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face."

Methinks it's a Sagittarian thing to find the satiric value in cannibalism. Swift did it in his A Modest Proposal, wherein he offered the eating of babies as a solution to famine & overpopulation in Ireland. I've touched on similar sentiments often (tho' Leo, I have an additional "release" factor via Jupiter in Sagittarius).

And what's the weight of that -- belch -- bloated soul? 21 Grams? ;-)

[Muse]

21 grams of saturated fat. A great source of carbs. Ha

[Pax Analog]

Ah. Didja know the film 21 Grams was named after a notion that the soul weighed that, based on weighing body before & after death?

[Muse]

My subconscious mind says I've read that "somewhere".

[Pratik]

You are such a heart breaker ( and soul eater LOL ) .. This is deliciously evil.. that's the least I can say... :)

[David Scott]

The young maiden would do well to head your poem and avoid the bitter aftertaste, but then again, was it worth the "sweet confection"?
Ha. Lovely write!

[Ees]

You have such a cool way of writing. I loved this one. I loved the last three lines, great, powerful finish to a poem! Also really love the bit about being suck between your teeth.
awesome work!

[Pax]

i love the methaphor used with vivid imagery, but methaphor set aside i find it really dark with a tone of fantasy. Like a monster devouring its prey, savouring the tastes until the last drop. Great work!

[Baby Ricochet]

Muse, you're no doubt an intense and intelligent woman. It comes through in much of your work. Awesome write, again.