Death's memento mori

Thank you Rick for helping me with this revision.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(((Flashback)))

 

As a young child on a Sunday morning, I remember the preacher man saying:

 

"God help the soul that refuses to drink from the blood of the lamb!"

You were born into this world as nothing more than a dirty thumbprint."

 

"God will spit, WIPE, and then you're gone........................"

 

 

I'm 33 now, trying to live life as a non-believer.

The bible thumping left a bad taste in my mouth.

This gives me peace, to not be wrapped up in scripture.

If I don't believe in God, then there must be no HELL.

 

 

********************************

 

 

I never saw the bullet coming, I just remember running!

I cradled my head as my mortality dripped with red.

And then I saw him, like a thief in the night. 

God help me, what a hideous site!

 

Death's memento mori, he mocked me in his decay,

his shadowed hands eclipsing my verve.

Expired......I began to see the dead; feel the unheard.

 

My vital force, displaced in his world, I awoke.

I stood to behold, Death's wealthy estate,

material goods and souls without fate.

All of this merchandised, and shelved with a date. 

 

Then suddenly.........

he gave out a SHOUT!

"Choose" he said. 

"But choose wisely!"

 

He began to showcase before me

an interesting meal, hot off an offering plate.

A devil's pact seasoned with silver and gold

representing the covenant, waiting to be sold.

 

And this is what I saw:

 

A tree of life

demoralized,

sprouting images of fear.

 

An offer of exchange:

one more year of MY life

for my daughter of eight

 

Or...........

 

A return to earth

as a paralytic, mute

and deaf in my ears.

 

Death seemed annoyed, as I turned in disgust.

Feeling desperate now, my eyes wondered over to a 

carpenter's cup covered in time, covered in dust.

 

Thirsty and dry.............I began to cry.

 

"Can I see?"

 

"May I drink?" 

 

Death handed over his "mirage" of a cup.

Inside I saw many visions; the sacrifice of the living Christ.

Wine prepared and shared at the last supper. 

I could see the sacrificial lamb.

I could see the fountain of life. 

 

I was about to take a sip when Death said,

 

"It's too late to drink from this cup!"

 

He grabbed it away.................

 

"Pick your plate."

 

"You had your chance!"

 

"You're mine now!"

 

"Eat up!"

Author's Note

I have Rick Puetter to thank for this rewrite. He tore this poem apart with love, and dared me to be bolder with the message. I don't care what your religious beliefs are. I wrote this to envoke a certain kind of fear. Despite all our many differences, fear of death is something we can all relate too.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, it is ironic...we can claim a disbelief in a supreme being...in heaven and hell...but as death draws nearer...even as we age and see the possibility of our mortality..

there comes this fear we cannot always explain..but we know what it is don't we.

this is a terrific write..a terrific battle between good and evil...and between belief and atheism.

jacob

[Muse]

Wanna hear something ironic? A talented writer by the name of Rick Puetter helped me rewrite this, and he has told me on more than one occasion...that he is athiest. And it was he...that dared me to push the envelope.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you pushed it, stamped it and sent it...

that is interesting...

[Muse]

it shows that Rick has character.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, it does.

[Muse]

he's not on my friend's list anymore...his intellegence, way over my head. But..I respect him.

[Forest Green]

The mood of darkness is palpable in this poem, with 'death' spreading out his wares and offerings with the terminal consequences revealed rather vaguely, yet decidedly. This or that, choose your fate...so the insistence on immediate gratification is presented without a hint of concern on his part.

This has nice overtones of a nightmare mixed with quiet, corner-gratifying thoughts of what the eternal future might hold for a rather decent individual. Nice conflict, excellent tension throughout...!

[OT]

ah great write! love the story - and your word choices - the rhythm gives it a nice kick to glide us along! nice job!

[Dayran]

An inferno it is not, but a return to making decisions for someone who didn't run away in fear. Death is also associated with the identities of the Thanatos and the Anteros. Both serve a role ( eventually) to rescue the fallen eros. Keep the pulse on the game.

Must have been quite an experience!

[Brad Nugent]

Very nice write, Muse. Tells a dramatic and terror filled cautionary tale with style.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Startling..............amazing write. Very well penned! Creates imagery in the mind that I don't think I want to live.........excellent!

[Chris]

Nothing is ever like a touch of mortality to awaken a paused heart.

Chris

[Jeremy Baker]

Wow - stand out horror and darkness.

[roy mccarthy]

wow,holy crap,
muse this reminds me of sylvia plath,anne sexton....
but even better than those poems they wrote,
full of darkness and awareness at the same time,
too many great lines in this to quote
so ill just save it to my favourites.....

[Tom Chan]

it's simply amazing.