Why?

I can't believe this.... It's all my fault and it has always been this way. I let her in and I let her make me feel good, and then I depend on her. I can't depend on anyone. Ever.

I never thought I would be here again.

Never thought I'd let someone this close again.

I pushed you away 

Now I need you to stay

But that isn't how it was supposed to work.

I feel like a fool

For letting myself

Believe that you could be

"It" for me.

Your touch is intoxication

Your spirit is liberation

So why do I feel trapped

in my heart?

With all of my soul, I

Dreamed of a girl.

Just like you.

What is a lover,

an addict,

to do?

Your kiss was a celebration.

Your light, a new revelation.

So why do I feel I got the

short end of the stick?

You made me a deal,

A promise you couldn't keep.

Of course,

 you couldn't have known

the curse of my heart.

Once it is open to you,

It could be yours forever.

If I don't have your favor, please

tell me now and save me the pain.

Could you ask me

One more time

If I'm feeling alright?

Just to assure I can

Get through the night?

I had guarded my heart

for so long.

And for what?

A few fluttered-out butterflies

And an ache in my stomach.

Could it be though, that 

in reality,

We're dancing around each other?

Around the 

elephant

in the room?

I want to think

that could be the case.

I am sorry that 

I went and messed everything up.

I'm sorry that I can't keep

Anything this wonderful

As professional as you would like.

Most of all? 

I'm sorry that I'm too big of a 

coward

to tell you how I really feel.

If only the world

could silence for a second,

I could get some peace and quiet

in my beating heart.

Who am I to blame all the people

When I know what they mean now.

The emptiness that life can leave you with 

in the midst of your contentment.

It's nothing.

That's not true.

I had an off day.

Tell me what's wrong.

I can't.

Why not?

...

Because it's not wrong.

Because it's just right,

At the wrong time.

In the wrong place.

With the wrong one.

Because I love you when we said

that is what this can't be.

Because I love you.

But mostly,

Because you don't love me.

Author's Note

This is sort of me pouring my heart out. I wish I could say I have resolved this, but I can't. Any advice you can give would be very much appreciated. Unless you are the one in question. You should probably call me. Oh, and one more thing? Told you so.

Reviews

[ni ni]

Wow that is very sad, but very good writting! Good job!

[And She Sings]

Thank you! :)