the value of zero and something. (edited version.)

I am hungry.

Oh, fantastic moment of unbelievable, heart-stopping, stomach ripping, wide eyed, bucket of cold water, white light, and someday maybe
future happiness and content…
I should remember you. Of course I wont.
Real meaning always manages to slip my mind
Just like the phone numbers of the boys
Who caught me at a too vulnerable moment,
And of course, the decimals, and fractions,
And all those other things that my
Subconscious mind secretly is always trying to repress

behind my back.


I was just about to ask you
If real meaning ever slips your mind too
And if by chance you just had experienced
a stomach ripping, wide eyed, bucket of cold water, white light, and someday future happiness moment.
But obviously none of your inner organs had recently been torn open.
But obviously you were too busy lighting another cigarette
And making my stomach hurt the way
You zipped up your pants with the same approach normal people
Have when they brush their teeth,
zippp…alright, I’m finished, what’s next?
Like today was the same as the last every day of the last sixteen
Years of your life
I mean, Jesus, I didn’t realize I was an every day…
And I was just about to ask you if you
Had just figured out how important it is
For humans to lose everything?
(in my case, it was a tie between my god or my virginity)
Because happiness is really just having nothing to lose
And maybe that’s why our own bodies and minds
Work so hard to destroy us.
Or why we find it so easy to fail.
Or why the destruction of beauty,
Like that of the significant and generic enigma of a piece of empty, unused paper
is
So fascinating.
Maybe that’s why,
At the peak of my success, after everything had
Reached a state of finally.
Of certainty and clarity, and absolute for sure…
 
I found you.
 

And also,
Maybe I look for meaning in the wrong places.

 

 

 

 

NOTE: also I should probably note before anyone gets angry that the first two, three lines are very much like an ani difranco poem (found on my bio). I guess that would probably make a lot of people angry. But whatever, a lot of the first lines of a lot of my writing are inspired by random lyrics, poems, quotes. ehhh.

Reviews

[Khance]

Far from angry... Quoting is one of the best forms of flattery, the fact that you admit to liking her stuff will only gain you praise here. As far as reviewing goes, i only want to ask how long it took you to write this.
Im not a huge fan of poetry, it usually loses me after a few lines when i realise most people just match complex rythmic words together.

Yours has a meaning to it. And i liked it, i hate using the word like... but i did enjoy it. As much as anyone could enjoy a poem on such a topic.

[Legion]

This, too, is wonderfully done. Don't worry about the use of the lines as long as you quote them that is. You definetly have a talent waiting to be explored even further. I like your writing. It is so fresh and vibrant even when it is being a bit cold-natured as well. Great work. One thing I have to ask about though.

"Reached a state of finally." - did you mean "finally" here or "finality". "Finally" sounds a bit off in that line.

Either way, damn fine write (again). :)

[Michael X]

started of really Awsome and faded half, then i lost interest and stopped reading,
mainly because it started repeating, and the passion just wasn't there any more,
but this poem has real potentional, the line breaks started getting sloppy and
it lost all dynamic, but if you could keep the same dynamic free form you open
with tighten this poem up, remove all the unecessary lines, this could be a great
poem, good luck.

[Spoken]

wow.. this is something special. You have a gift.

Because happiness is really just having nothing to lose

what an interesting concept, and one I'd have to agree with...

You zipped up your pants with the same approach normal people
Have when they brush their teeth,
zippp�alright, I'm finished, what's next?
Like today was the same as the last every day of the last sixteen
Years of your life
I mean, Jesus, I didn't realize I was an every day�
And I was just about to ask you if you
Had just figured out how important it is
For humans to lose everything?
(in my case, it was a tie between my god or my virginity)

my fav lines. Wonderful my dear :-)

[Catastrophe]

Wow...i like how you write...very beautiful
really amazing...i mean, what more can i say *scratches head*
its been said already..."great write"

[Rick Puetter]

Dear highonfire,

This is a very amazing piece filled with wonderful observations of the world--or at least a very defensible point of view. And it was well executed.

So are you, then, that beauty, that unspoiled piece of paper that now risks destruction since you've now discovered a new love? And are you ready to lose him, too, to return to your state of happiness when you have nothing else left to lose?

A very interesting idea and point of view!

Congratualtions on a very thought provoking write.

Kindest regards,

Rick

[Celestine Astraea Fires..]

Most of the work written by anyone is inspired by someone else's lyrics, words, songs, etc. It's great.

[~amanda~]

i dont mind the ani diffranco parts.. in fact i loved the entire thing. halfway through i was scrolling donw the page hoping for more...
i loved "i should remember you. of course i wont"
story of my life lol...

this is great!! well done!

[Cliff Rhodes]

You have a nice way of talking about sensitive things in a charming way that makes the reader continue looking to find out more. Good writing.

"Who caught me at a too vulnerable moment,"

"Or why we find it so easy to fail."