You and Me

You and Me

You teach me I should care.

The more I care the longer it hurts.

You tell me I should love.

The more I love the longer I lose.

You say, open your eyes and see the truth.

The wider I open my eyes the harsher the light.

You extol I should understand.

The more I learn the further options I see.

You chastise me for what I feel.

The sleepless nights reduce and change me.

You point up into the night sky.

The stars I see I know are so far away.

You shake your head at me.

The feeling is mutual and yet you do not see.

You stare deep into my eyes.

The spirit behind them, you do not fathom.

You turn away and disappear into the distance.

The body that encompasses me does not move.

Reviews

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

How may I commend this wonderful piece of writing. This is one of the best poems I have ever read. "You shake your head at me. The feeling is mutual and yet you do not see."- How very deep and what a feeling it aroused in me- and would have aroused in all those who have read this and will arouse it in all those who will read this. Love asks for enduring and tackling umpteen obstacles and hurdles. It is not much difficult to love somebody, but it is very difficult to have that person in your life. The ending is pretty amazing and again is intense, powerful and profound. Got me moving with this one. Keep writing.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much for your review. That it touched you in some way or made you think is always my goal in my writings.

[B]

A journey of love
Is one filled with lessons
And two souls become one
And one day
That one soul breaks into two when that partner no longer breaths life

This is life

Beautifully done

[H.L. Cerveise]

Yes, everything changes or dies with time. I am glad you liked it.

[B]

Only love dies with life.
I don't believe love dies while we are alive. But that's me.

[barleygirl]

This is an elevated "argument" between lovers . . . I like that the substance of the argument is not the usual petty stuff. Your poem conveys the feeling of being utterly disconnected from this other person that we've been trying to be connected to, an utter failure to grasp one another's true essence. This is the poster child of "show, don't tell" & you've made your point successfully & with impact.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. Correct it is about two entities arguing about a total disconnect and failure of understanding between them. It is also true what you said about them not grasping one another's actual soul and heart (essence).

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love this...people are always telling us what we should or should not feel....but they are not we...and we know what is in our hearts and guts...and we react to life as individuals...whether others agree or not...we feel what we feel...
not according to others' wills...but to our own.

j.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much for your review.

[V]

Many lines read relatable. Some words are chosen pretty well, I think it's a solid and nicely written poem on influence.

[H.L. Cerveise]

I like your comment about some words are chosen well. I often take great pains over certain words and I know I use them in ways not used in the conventional world. So those words that at first glance may seem strange are what I meant. Thank you.

[V]

I think you did that well. You're welcome.

[Matching Socks]

I like the description of the push and pull of a relationship here, the want and the let down...
Good poem

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much for your review. Yes, even within ourselves constant conflicts (push and pull) occur in our minds.