Lies and Beliefs

Come on, give me a
reason to leave you
That's all you're
trying to do
Kill me, kill you
follow me to /
The snake pit is
calling my name
Please follow me
I'm inside
I'll show you
the way
There is a lie
In every be(lie)f
Turn over
every leaf
Believe in the
sacred ways
Know, I'm lying
these days
-                                -
I believe
I believe
Take care of me
On your days off
I can see
I can see
Don't hurt me
On your black heart
-                                -
Take me into
the city
I'll show you what
no one else sees
I'll show you all
of their lies
I'll show you their
crazy disease
They're lying to you
If only you
could see
The truths of
this beast
-                                -
You believe
You believe
That I'll take
care of you
On my days off
You can see
You can see
Don't hurt me
When I tear
You apart
-                                -
Look away, away
You don't belong
Go--- away!!!
Go / home!!!

Reviews

[H.]

This hits home with me. It's like the myth of the dying god, where the neophyte is going through the peak of his "uneducation" and his old self is, for all intents and purposes, dying. But in this scene you're holding onto someone else who is still in the cave, still hidden away from the light. It's painful to revisit those feelings, but you captured those ephemeral moments so well.

A couple of the lines were clich� (ie "black heart"), but at the same time some were very clever ("take care of me/on your days off" and vice versa). I'd highly advise you to retool some of your poems, and they would go from good to great. There is no shame in editing poems.