The Beast and The King

Wind runs over a silver shore
Whispering age-old lore
Granite towers over the land
A shining landmark on the sand

A swarm of bats flies overhead
Instilling in all a sense of dread

From the grave he rises
The King of the Night
From the forest rises
A threatening howl
The prophecy will be fulfilled tonight

A beast and a king
On the silver shore
Creatures of long-lost lore
Teeth and claws and a sword
Prepared to settle the score

Old scars renewed
The sky’s darkened hue
Reflects the battle below
A war between two
The beast and the king

The beast claws and bites
And the king fights him off
A back-and-forth action, like the ticking of a clock

 

The pendulum swings
The black bird sings
The song of demise
The king closes his eyes
Can’t tell himself lies
The beast is too strong
It’s time to move on

 

The king turns his back
Drops his sword in the sand
And the beast raises a hand
Claws shimmer in moon light
Suddenly glistening with red
And the King of the Night
Finally falls down.

Author's Note

Finally got this one out. I've been sitting on this idea for a while, but I couldn't get onto the paper until today. Comments? Crit?

Reviews

[Kaitlyn]

Okay my favorite part.......? All of it! I really liked the idea of this one and the way it was written. I like the flow and the wording here. Absolutely amazing! Compared to previous writing of yours, it does seem a bit forced in places and I think that "A swarm of bats flies overhead" should be "A swarm of bats fly overhead", it flows a little better. I loved it (as I often do with you)!

[Sean M. Addams]

love the imagery in this piece very creative overall nice job on this one.

[Tina Kline]

Just love your poem!
Losts of neat visuals, excitment
and action. Perfect!
Great work!

Tina

[Winter Poison]

O.O Fabulous, simply fabulous. I can't think of anything to improve here.

[Cherrie Palmer]

This piece tells, like a story. The progression of the story is very good. Rethink some of
your word orders and soften the rhyme, even it out, and it will have a broader appeal.
Very nice poem

[Tallulah]

i like it a lot. the idea is a really cool one. this poem seems a little forced in some areas though.