To be seen...

To be seen...

A Poem by hcarson
"

Poem about being held back by self doubt but having all the desires in the world...

"
To be seen...


I want to write a poem,
but I don't know where
to start.

I want to write a novel,
but I'm not sure I have
the heart.

I want to paint a picture,
the best there's ever been,
to hang upon the wall of the
World...
to be seen, to be seen, to be seen...

But my shyness will not let me,
my capabilities just scream NO.
My confidence got up and left
me, saying it had better places 
to go.

So I don't think I'll bother,
I'll just sit here and dream
that just once in my lifetime,
I will stand up and be seen.

© 2016 hcarson


Author's Note

hcarson
Eek...first attemptmbutnall critisisms welcome ...I think lol..:)

My Review

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Featured Review

I like it. ^^ I really like how the poetry flows here ^^ Till the third stanzas it's really nice, but then I felt the flow somehow broke in the 4th stanza. Too many words used. This is just how I would phrase the 4th Stanza (then again it's just my take you needn't have to follow this)

But my shyness won't let me.
My talents screaming NO.
Confidence ditching me,
Stating it had better places
to attend.

The 5th stanza as usual follows the same flow as the first three. ^^ It's a nice poem on something experienced by everyone when they have dreams to pursue but self doubt just hinders that. ^^

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

V

8 Years Ago

Errenn, I appreciate you felt the need to help but if it was really changed to what you suggested, i.. read more
Érenn

8 Years Ago

Yeah I know. Indeed what you state is completely true. And even I just mentioned whatever I did as s.. read more
V

8 Years Ago

Ok that's nice.



Reviews

I love the flow of this piece. I read it out loud and it just sounded amazing! I would love to hear this piece be performed at a reading.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wow this is a great piece I don't know how it slipped my radar, As usual great work!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much, glad you like it your words as always are very much appreciated :)
wow amazing this write up relate to me in many ways there are so many things i want to do but i end up not doing them,every line makes the poem more meaningful,great poem

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

Thank you adesanya i think you and i are very alike with our confidence, i read some of your work an.. read more
Adesanya Yewande

8 Years Ago

you welcome,thank you also for your reviews and help
hcarson

8 Years Ago

Anytime, i love your writings..always full of truth :)
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V
That's a really good one regarding message and style. I can totally relate to the feelings and thoughts described in this one. I often tell myself I only need to do and create things for myself but honestly, I want to share it with the world, maybe get a little respect, attention, maybe even admiration. I think everyone, particularly artists strive for recognition for their works just as everyone else feel well becoming admired a little.

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

for im very shy in person and lack confidence..in everything to the point it has had a dibilitating .. read more
V

8 Years Ago

You're welcome. I had to learn not to be a totally shy, ingoing person, as well. But my job and frie.. read more
i would say this is one of your best poems... the way it speaks to the reader and flows with a truth is lovely to read.... when i joined this place i had shyness in posting anything, i feared that people will not like them and might rate my works as failure....but when i posted my first work i saw that people like it.... i can absolutely relate to it.... many of us can truly find it relatable.....as for the poem, it's been brilliantly thought out and well presented too.... it flows well and sounds like true tone of a dreaming heart..... full ratings mate!!!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

you're right in the sense theere is a lot of truth in it IP,.MY CONFIDENCE HOLDS ME BACK ALL THE TIM.. read more
Inject Positivity

8 Years Ago

thank you too... as always an amazing experience to read your works my dear frnd....
A very honest sentiment, and one most of us can identify with. Great choice in subject. I also like how the poem is created as the writer decides not to write it. Bringing your reader in to identify with your piece is something that must happen in order for your work to touch someone. Which is what we all want. To touch and to be seen. Well I saw you. Keep writing! No need to sit back down.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

Thank you gaia, thats a lovely review and much appreciated.
This really spoke to me, being a person with no confidence and extremely shy. You want to but you lack confidence, so you stay there are dream. Completely TRUE and amazing flow.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

Thank you bookworm, its's hard isnt it, shyness asnd confidence rule that persons world, i'm trying .. read more
This was very beautifully written. It is so full of truth and shyness, something many of us can relate to. If people weren't shy, they wouldn't use Pen names or usernames, they would blast their personal names to the world! I myself don't have my name on this website at all, so that goes to show that shyness is common placed.

Many people *coughs* Danny the Outcast *coughs* think they don't have any talent at all, when really they have far more going for them than those around them. Never give up, try regardless of negativity, you will get somewhere eventually.

Very nicely done, I enjoyed it. Full Ratings, I will probably browse your work some more.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

Wow thank you for your comments shadow, you are rigjt, just keep trying and eventually something goo.. read more
Obscured by the Shadows

8 Years Ago

In theory....
I like it. ^^ I really like how the poetry flows here ^^ Till the third stanzas it's really nice, but then I felt the flow somehow broke in the 4th stanza. Too many words used. This is just how I would phrase the 4th Stanza (then again it's just my take you needn't have to follow this)

But my shyness won't let me.
My talents screaming NO.
Confidence ditching me,
Stating it had better places
to attend.

The 5th stanza as usual follows the same flow as the first three. ^^ It's a nice poem on something experienced by everyone when they have dreams to pursue but self doubt just hinders that. ^^

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

V

8 Years Ago

Errenn, I appreciate you felt the need to help but if it was really changed to what you suggested, i.. read more
Érenn

8 Years Ago

Yeah I know. Indeed what you state is completely true. And even I just mentioned whatever I did as s.. read more
V

8 Years Ago

Ok that's nice.

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459 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 29, 2016
Last Updated on February 29, 2016

Author

hcarson
hcarson

cardiff, barry, United Kingdom



About
I have an interest in writing short stories and poetry in some shape or form apparently since coming here! Being a mother of five means I have no end of inspiration! I'm an animal lover and have an Am.. more..

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