TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

A Poem by hcarson
"

just a quick off the top of the head one that may not make sense lol

"
TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

Take a walk in my shoes,
you may not last that long.
To walk where I've been
you have to be strong.

The things I've seen..
the stuff I've heard..
some happened so 
quickly, even now
 it's all blurred..

Some though, are clear as day.
These took place where our 
nightmares play.
Stabbing at our senses,
playing with our brains.
Making sure to do their best
so that we never sleep again.

Violence, obsession, cruelty and greed.
draining us of essentials that we
both desire and need.
Filling us with lies and deceit they deceive.

Things to leave you spinning,
to send you tumbling from your seat.
 So here, by all means, judge me.
But first...slip in your feet...

© 2016 hcarson



Author's Note

hcarson
i'm a little foot obsessed recently....all comments/criticisms welcome..

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Featured Review

Great poem. The rhyming is impressive and makes your poem more pleasing to read. The second last stanza moved me a lot. You talk of how things like greed, cruelty, violence and obsession make a man sick and drains him of all essentials that he desires and needs.
Well-written and keep writing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much for reading and your lovely comments much aporeciated



Reviews

Great poem. The rhyming is impressive and makes your poem more pleasing to read. The second last stanza moved me a lot. You talk of how things like greed, cruelty, violence and obsession make a man sick and drains him of all essentials that he desires and needs.
Well-written and keep writing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much for reading and your lovely comments much aporeciated
wow,lovely poem,just like no one knows what you feel until when they live as you,which is so not possible,to take a walk in your shoes is an interesting and captivating title keep it up

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

thank you adesanya, i get frustrated seeing people glare at strangers and making presumptions and wh.. read more
Adesanya Yewande

1 Year Ago

you welcome,that's true and moreover nobody knows what you have been through that made you decided t.. read more
hcarson

1 Year Ago

exactly, as people, whether we realise it or not, we all need a little encouragement every now and t.. read more
Haha I loved this poem. Rey much a lot of the time I am usually the one trying to look at things in others perspective but it seems alot of people in my life don't try to put themselves in my position. Taking advantage these days has just become too easy.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sangeetha

1 Year Ago

yes my friends say that a lot about me but I can go much wilder than haha. but what does being quick.. read more
hcarson

1 Year Ago

ns when you are talking with someone you have quick funny responses straight away..you don't have to.. read more
Sangeetha

1 Year Ago

Pooh yup that's very true haha I'm liking a walking comedy book I feel happy when make others happy.
This definately hit home. I say that many times to a lot of people. I, too, have dealt with a lot of things you mentioned here in your poem. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

thank yoou , it is a sad truth and unfortunatly not one we are likely to change, thank you so much f.. read more
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Gee
We often look at others and envy what we think they have,at the same time never knowing what they have,how they got there or what their life behind doors is really like.I have a poem called "Life is seldom what it seems",I think,which deals with the same subject bit slightly differently.
Another fine poem H,sweet.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

thank you Gee, i will look up your poem i like to see different perspectives etc thank you so much f.. read more
wow. why is it that the worst memories are always the clearest...and the happier ones get out of focus...
the hurt just has that indelible stain...and the poet writes.

the laughter passes too quickly and the words won't come.

like this write and relate to it.

j.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank you Jacob, it is a shame the bad over writes the good in so many cases but so long as we can r.. read more
well there is a deeply inherited message in your poem... as they are speaking louder... every one has their own ways, flaws and shortcomings...you. can't judge a person unless you are in their place... but as our habit goes, we judge people by what they are outside without realizing the efforts and struggles behind their situation.... a very true and eye opening write dear frnd... it helped me to think about a new chapter for my book... another masterpiece... i hope your foot gets well soon.... full ratings!!!!....

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

i was sure i had responded on this but it seems to have disappeared haha.thank you IP for your lovel.. read more
hcarson

1 Year Ago

oh and im glad it has inspired you for your next chapter...look forward to reading it :)
Inject Positivity

1 Year Ago

you are as always welcome dear frnd... thank you... you are always the sweetest.... i love reading y.. read more
But first slip in your feet! Ooohh killer ending, just killer!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse (Y.A.D.)

1 Year Ago

Hmmm Sire! I like it! XD approved.
hcarson

1 Year Ago

good because its getting harder and harder to stop putting that extra e on haha :)
Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse (Y.A.D.)

1 Year Ago

Haha. Ill be waiting for more of your work
I am from Canada. This feels very much like some of the pieces that come from writers in our Indigenous communities. Beaten down, but still proud and even defiant!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

that is true u can capture many things but the spirit remains true to where it belongs, no matter de.. read more
Shannon

1 Year Ago

Some Indigenous individuals are, of Course thriving (and many more all the time). Unfortunately, as.. read more
hcarson

1 Year Ago

i hope things keep improving and they are allowed to heal..it brings it home to you when you see it .. read more
Its beautiful! Honestly, when I read your poems I don't know where you end and I begin, its like our stories are so similar. I love the way it starts and ends. Judge me, but first survive all that I have survived. Your kids are very lucky to have a strong mother like you. I think if you could add some specific incidents/people/experiences, it will make it more hard hitting. But overall, fantastic stuff, as usual!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

wow thank you so much, you are right about the detail, i thought the same when i reread it but i was.. read more

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Added on March 11, 2016
Last Updated on March 11, 2016

Author

hcarson
hcarson

cardiff, barry, United Kingdom



About
I have an interest in writing short stories and poetry in some shape or form apparently since coming here! Being a mother of five means I have no end of inspiration! I'm an animal lover and have an Am.. more..

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