TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

just a quick off the top of the head one that may not make sense lol

TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

Take a walk in my shoes,

you may not last that long.

To walk where I've been

you have to be strong.

The things I've seen..

the stuff I've heard..

some happened so 

quickly, even now

 it's all blurred..

Some though, are clear as day.

These took place where our 

nightmares play.

Stabbing at our senses,

playing with our brains.

Making sure to do their best

so that we never sleep again.

Violence, obsession, cruelty and greed.

draining us of essentials that we

both desire and need.

Filling us with lies and deceit they deceive.

Things to leave you spinning,

to send you tumbling from your seat.

 So here, by all means, judge me.

But first...slip in your feet...

Author's Note

i'm a little foot obsessed recently....all comments/criticisms welcome..

Reviews

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Great poem. The rhyming is impressive and makes your poem more pleasing to read. The second last stanza moved me a lot. You talk of how things like greed, cruelty, violence and obsession make a man sick and drains him of all essentials that he desires and needs.
Well-written and keep writing.

[hcarson]

Thank you so much for reading and your lovely comments much aporeciated

[Érenn]

Been a while since I dropped by to read your writes and looks like I might be dropping by more often now ^^ I love the feel you have given to the poem. A subject everybody can relate to. Very nicely portrayed, your choice of words in particular invoke a lot of imagery when reading. ^^ It's awesome ^^ And I think doing it free verse suits you a lot better. Let the occasion rhyme happen but i believe you can explore a lot more in the free verse style. A good write ^^ Thank you for sharing ^^

[hcarson]

for reading and your lovely review, im trying to improve but it very much depends on the subject for me at the moment as still got sooo much to learn but hopefully hetting there slowely :)

[Érenn]

I know it's the same for me, everyday I end up learning something new ^^

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this poem. Old wisdom brought back to life.
"Things to leave you spinning,
to send you tumbling from your seat.
So here, by all means, judge me.
But first...slip in your feet..."
The above lines. I heard often said by my Grandfather. I tell people.Never rate another life. Never know what he had to do to survive. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[hcarson]

thank you coyote for your lovely words, i don't beieve we should judge one another either,as yoou say..who knows what has happened in anothers life, thank you for reading, very much appreciated

[V]

The title as well as the first lines remind me of Everlast's song What it's like. Sort of old song but still conveying a great message such as your poem does, too. It could use a smoother frame such as rhyme scheme but that's only critique in technical terms. Other than that, I really like what's on your mind.

[hcarson]

thanks..been one of them days today haha...i agree..it kinda is all over the place..i will go back and tidy it up...at some point..not sure wher to start now tho it so ...mishapen ?? thanks for reviewing and reading, much appreciated as always :)

[V]

You're welcome.