panic

panic

A Poem by hcarson
"

just a piece i done while waiting on the shopping to be delivered

"
Panic

widespread panic, everyone runs.
Story so far; theres a man with a gun.

Fear and confusion, evident to see
with bulging eyes as they collectively flee.

Bags are dropped - shopping forgot,
self-preservation steaming hot.

The boy lowers his toy - just a plastic gun;
a normal kid just having fun - not understanding
what the terrrorists have done.

Police surround him - just to make sure,
the young boy with his toy laid out on
the floor....

Comes to something when kids can't be kids
anymore....

© 2016 hcarson



Author's Note

hcarson
comments and criticisms welcome

My Review

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Featured Review

Very relevant piece of writing and vivid picture of the sad state of events in the world. Often I think of how fast kids are forced to grow up and simply can't be the kids of yesteryear. I dig the second stanza..."bulging eyes" that the people fleeing have but also used to see the "Fear and confusion'". I have just a little trouble with the flow of the 4th stanza. Great job.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading and your comment, much appreciated 😊 i understand what youre saying.
Short Lip Fuser

1 Year Ago

I recant what I said about the 4th stanza. I just reread the poem and no trouble with the 4th stanz.. read more
hcarson

1 Year Ago

Aha..i no the feeling, my brain is constantly like that..forgot what its like to function straight l.. read more



Reviews

Very relevant piece of writing and vivid picture of the sad state of events in the world. Often I think of how fast kids are forced to grow up and simply can't be the kids of yesteryear. I dig the second stanza..."bulging eyes" that the people fleeing have but also used to see the "Fear and confusion'". I have just a little trouble with the flow of the 4th stanza. Great job.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading and your comment, much appreciated 😊 i understand what youre saying.
Short Lip Fuser

1 Year Ago

I recant what I said about the 4th stanza. I just reread the poem and no trouble with the 4th stanz.. read more
hcarson

1 Year Ago

Aha..i no the feeling, my brain is constantly like that..forgot what its like to function straight l.. read more
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hi
ok this poem kinda shocked me, but you got a point when children cant be children but that is the time we now live in,
but i dont under stand why people are so scared, i mean we allways had people causing crimes and bad stuff,
it happened all the time, our own people use to do it,
but it seems now we are more scared of everything then we have ever been

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

I think its the fact children are seen in pictures with guns and at beheadings etc...this may have h.. read more
hi

1 Year Ago

maybe, or maybe it is just over done to make it more dramatic, the more sad it sounds the more tv l.. read more
hcarson

1 Year Ago

Of course and they report biasly no doubt but other than reading between the lines thats all we hwve.. read more
so, its been a long time since I've been around but I'm so glad I dropped into your page and read this, it is very descriptive in today's mind of terrorism, and it is really shocking how this is actually something they would do, using innocent children who yet know not of good and bad or how it comes in between. Your poem here settles in the helpless mind of this boy and as well twists into the evil behind it. very well done, I love how you gave this a shot.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

thank you sir drift..i too have been away a long time with my studies but am back..thank you for you.. read more
A crazy world indeed and you describe it powerfully. Those crazy and evil ones will face their due justice one day...Excellent...:).................

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

thank you so much for your comment Sk, I really appreciate the positive feedback, thank you so much .. read more
Sami Khalil

1 Year Ago

You are welcome .....:)))))
Whoa, powerful, poem with a great moral and twist to it. I enjoyed reading it!I like your rhyming too. Tyfs!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

thank you for your lovely comment, i really appreciate it. we live in a crazy world right now, sort .. read more
Cyprian Van Dyke

1 Year Ago

You're right about that. Yvw!
Your poem reflects the present situation of the world, and you said very well through your write... Now I got why you gave the title 'panic'... I like some of your phrases so much here... And the last line contains something very deep... Excellent job again frnd...

Sincerely
Dhiman

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

thank you for your coments dhiman, appreciated a lot. todas world is a scary place to be for so many.. read more

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6 Reviews
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Added on August 10, 2016
Last Updated on August 10, 2016

Author

hcarson
hcarson

cardiff, barry, United Kingdom



About
I have an interest in writing short stories and poetry in some shape or form apparently since coming here! Being a mother of five means I have no end of inspiration! I'm an animal lover and have an Am.. more..

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