You hung yourself when

You hung yourself when

A Poem by hcarson
"

Very rough work in progress, awoke with this in my head so noted down here so didn't forget it lol

"
YOU HUNG YOURSELF WHEN

You placed that rope around your neck
When you screamed, blaming all on me.
That noose it tightened on the day your vile
taunts did frighten.
That hatch creaked open just a bit, the day
you attacked and face and body did hit.
You hung yourself and crashed to the floor,
When the creaking hatch could take no more.
It finally grew strong showing you the door,
Leaving you alone, to hang some more.

© 2016 hcarson



Author's Note

hcarson
Please note this is rough work noted as I awoke with it in my head but comments and criticisms still welcome

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Featured Review

hcarson,
Such a place of tragedy in so many lives of trouble and pain in unhealthy relationships. Read this through three times trying to see your meaning. I am sorry this experience portrayed happened. No one should treat another in such a shameful way. Thank you for writing and giving light to such a dark subject. Bless you Kathy


Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

10 Months Ago

Thank you kathy,your words are very much appreciated



Reviews

hcarson,
Such a place of tragedy in so many lives of trouble and pain in unhealthy relationships. Read this through three times trying to see your meaning. I am sorry this experience portrayed happened. No one should treat another in such a shameful way. Thank you for writing and giving light to such a dark subject. Bless you Kathy


Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

10 Months Ago

Thank you kathy,your words are very much appreciated
You take it and you take some more and then one day you cannot take any more. You have found a very creative way of expressing this build up of fury.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank u philip
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hi
like how at first you made it seem like he was the victim and then it slowly showed more of his colors


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Well thats how abusers tend to be isnt it..portraying the actual victim as the horrid person while a.. read more
A very serious topic but this is kind of funny. He tried to hang himself and it ended with him falling down.
The cracking hatch saved both from a lot of sorrow

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Hi.. The creaking hatch and hanging himself is metaphorical, his abusive behaviour meant he was grat.. read more
So well put Helen, it is heartbreaking when the abuse reaches in that stage... I can feel the darkness in the poem, a Heart's mourning of pain... An excellent write... Well done...

Sincerely
Dhiman

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thanking u dhiman, appreciated as always
Jacob took the words right out of my mouth. "Rough work" maybe, but an impactful one all the same.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank you Clifford much appreciated 😊
i was cheering at the end....i hate abuse regardless of which party initiates it...if it gets to that point, the person should just leave.

there is no excuse for mental or physical abuse...it is so emotionally damaging..

that creaking hatch...much too loud.

j.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

1 Year Ago

Thank you and your totally correct, abuse infuriates me as u say no matter who is doing it. Sadly th.. read more

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Added on August 14, 2016
Last Updated on August 14, 2016

Author

hcarson
hcarson

cardiff, barry, United Kingdom



About
I have an interest in writing short stories and poetry in some shape or form apparently since coming here! Being a mother of five means I have no end of inspiration! I'm an animal lover and have an Am.. more..

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