You hung yourself when

Very rough work in progress, awoke with this in my head so noted down here so didn't forget it lol

YOU HUNG YOURSELF WHEN

You placed that rope around your neck
When you screamed, blaming all on me.
That noose it tightened on the day your vile
taunts did frighten.
That hatch creaked open just a bit, the day
you attacked and face and body did hit.
You hung yourself and crashed to the floor,
When the creaking hatch could take no more.
It finally grew strong showing you the door,
Leaving you alone, to hang some more.

Author's Note

Please note this is rough work noted as I awoke with it in my head but comments and criticisms still welcome

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

hcarson,
Such a place of tragedy in so many lives of trouble and pain in unhealthy relationships. Read this through three times trying to see your meaning. I am sorry this experience portrayed happened. No one should treat another in such a shameful way. Thank you for writing and giving light to such a dark subject. Bless you Kathy

[hcarson]

Thank you kathy,your words are very much appreciated

[Philip Muls]

You take it and you take some more and then one day you cannot take any more. You have found a very creative way of expressing this build up of fury.

[hcarson]

Thank u philip

[hi]

like how at first you made it seem like he was the victim and then it slowly showed more of his colors

[hcarson]

Well thats how abusers tend to be isnt it..portraying the actual victim as the horrid person while all the time they are actually making their life hell, but most can only keep that up for so long before they are sussed out for the creatures that they are.thank you for your comment..very much appreciated 😀

[Shabeeh Haider]

A very serious topic but this is kind of funny. He tried to hang himself and it ended with him falling down.
The cracking hatch saved both from a lot of sorrow

[hcarson]

Hi.. The creaking hatch and hanging himself is metaphorical, his abusive behaviour meant he was grating closer and ended up losing the very person he was trying to control and keep yet this behaviour made the person push him away and get rid of him. Thank u for you comment and opening it up to an alternative way of being seen, much appreciated ☺️

[Inject Positivity]

So well put Helen, it is heartbreaking when the abuse reaches in that stage... I can feel the darkness in the poem, a Heart's mourning of pain... An excellent write... Well done...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[hcarson]

Thanking u dhiman, appreciated as always

[Jacob Clifford]

Jacob took the words right out of my mouth. "Rough work" maybe, but an impactful one all the same.

[hcarson]

Thank you Clifford much appreciated 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was cheering at the end....i hate abuse regardless of which party initiates it...if it gets to that point, the person should just leave.

there is no excuse for mental or physical abuse...it is so emotionally damaging..

that creaking hatch...much too loud.

j.

[hcarson]

Thank you and your totally correct, abuse infuriates me as u say no matter who is doing it. Sadly though, females especially are more scared of social service involvement than they are the violence and until that somehow changes it isn't going to be reported as much as it could be 😞