bleeding

i look down at myself
im hideous
pretty on the outside, sure
but im a monster
dont look at me
i hope you cant see who i really am
what i really am
i pull out the blade
its been a long time, my love
i sit and think for a moment
where can i hide new scars?
i stare at my hips
perfect.

it hurts
a lot
i know how to make it hurt worst
i go deep, but i am careful not to go too far
that is for another day
somewhere else on my body
where it really matters
another thin red line on my body
good.
i deserve it
for being such a monster
another line
another one
more

oh no
i got blood on the floor again
ill clean it up and no one will notice
who would want to help me?
who would want to come close to such a
worthless
directionless
Monster
i deserve more than just these little red marks
but i hear footsteps
i hide it
i smile
they believe me
like they have for years
soon it will happen again

Author's Note

this one is almost as horrible as me.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

These emotions you have portrayed, not everyone has the courage to do so. Still you did and that is what makes you different,not horrible. Interesting point of view.