The Shadows....

Villanelle

The shadows, they keep me forever haunted

Drearier than masters of their own

like soft skin on palms, only lines distorted.

 

Gradually densifying until we get bonded,

the most infertile of blends ever known.

The shadows they keep me forever haunted

 

Tried pushing   a w a y   these remnants not wanted,

but they keep emerging with enthusiasm unmown

like soft skin on palms, only lines distorted.

 

A stream of denial, my life, always daunted

reasons, they further add to my groan

The shadows, they keep me forever haunted

 

Letting go in her hours, wretchedly disjointed

Today I reap all that I had sown

like soft skin on palms, only lines distorted.

 

Expectant eyes while  sharing about the new life mounted,

As dead as she, are now my wishes to adorn

the shadows, they keep me forever haunted

like soft skin on palms, only lines distorted.

Author's Note

Just a try, hope to get edit suggestions and constructive criticism.
For those who are not familiar with the form, please visit https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle
Not that I am well aware of it. 😜

Reviews

[Harsh Jain]

The use of words are quite good and the flow is also pretty well
glad to read your poem

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words. Your poem described need and pain with great skill.
"Expectant eyes while sharing about the new life mounted,
As dead as she, are now my wishes to adorn
the shadows, they keep me forever haunted
like soft skin on palms, only lines distorted."
Love can be twisted. What we want isn't want we need. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Pleased to hear your appreciative words. Thanks for reading.

[Coyote Poetry]

My pleasure and you are welcome.

[Amy R]

Wow, just wow, it was an amazing poem! Totally loved it!
great job!
I like the flow of it. :)

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Glad that you loved it...Appreciate the review.
Thank you : )

[Amy R]

ur welcome :)

[Frozen Eyes]

In awe.. just one word "WOW"

[Kshitij Srivastava]

:D
Thanks a lot for the read and review.

[B]

So lovely
I guess the one person we love
Haunts us

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Ya, especially if we regret hurting them.
Thanks for reading. :)

[B]

We wont hurt those we love
never

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Yes, but we see things from our eyes

[Emily]

I love the meaning!!
Keep it up!

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Glad that you loved it. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

should be "as dead as she"

and i like the ending with just "only lines"---

i like the idea..."shadows of the past mixed with our present"--these are definitely "most infertile of blends"

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Thanks for pointing that out...I'll fix that right away.
I am glad you liked those....:)
read moreThanks for pointing that out...I'll fix that right away.
I am glad you liked those....:)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I am not familiar with the poetry form.. But I liked what I read..
Indeed the shadow washed over..
Nice job.. Enjoyed it..!

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Thanks for the encouraging words. Appreciate the review. Thank you. ☺
P.s. There's a link in the author's note, just in case you want to know about the wonderful form.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Okay sure thing! And you are welcome!

[mattavelli]

Hi, Kshitij. Lines 1 and 3 should rhyme to fit the form. I like the tone you've set. Its very shadowy.

[Kshitij Srivastava]

I came to know about the form only after I read a villanelle of yours. It would be great if you help me make it a proper one. Thank you. :)