This Feeling I Have.

Today seems to be one o the days that i just cant shake a feeling. The only problem is that i dont know what the feeling is. I woke up at 5 am this morning after going to bed at 3 and i just woke up and couldnt go back to sleep. I have no clue why. The same thing happened at 9 am. Now i just feel something but i dont know what it is. Its like sad and depressed but not in the normal way. In a way that ive never felt before. And i dont know what do about it. Music dosent help. Ive tried the music that usually makes me happy but i had to fake being happy while listening to the song. I dont know whats wrong with me today. Its just something i dont know how to deal with because ive never felt it before. The more i think about the feeling the more other things start to come into my mind. My dad, school, my family, all the stuff that ive done do f**k up my life, all the stupid things i do. I do alot of stupid stuff. Ive fucked up alot of good things that ive had. and now i dont know what do to about anything. Im trying but i feel like im not. I feel like i cant do anytthing to get out of where i am. Like im going to be stuck here forever. But i kno whats not what i want, but i also dont kno what else i want. I just dont want to be stuck here forever. I want to get out. But i cant. I dont know how to get out. i dont know how to do anything to help myself. i just sit back and do nothing as stuff happeneds to me. Like im not really living but im just watching. Now the feeling getting worse and i dont know what is make it that way. But something is and i want to find out what.I dont want to feel like this. Now im starting to think maybe i always feel like this. Maybe i just fake being happy. Maybe i just fake everything i feel. I never really know how i feel. For people it just seems so easy to feel a cerent way. But not for me. I have to fake feeling. Fake being someone who im not. But the reason i do that is because i dont know who i am.

ianounknown

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems.