Marrakesh Red

We met in the square.
You wore a Marrakesh
red fez, and bargained
for my heart, and I
for your soul.

You were my storyteller
and I,
your snake charmer.

The twists and turns
of old roads brought
us to this dusty rest stop.
The grit between our teeth
was palatable.

You may
have loaded the gun
but it was I, with my
blood tipped finger
who pulled the trigger,
Lover.

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Few verses, so much behind them ! Still trying to recolect everything in my mind !
Great job, the poem is obviously well written !
The TwisTs and Turns, the alliteration caught my attention.
I am pretty sure there's a very deep meaning behind the "farwest" style story (probably an intriguing modern version of Cupid, where guns take the place of the bow and arrow) but it's 1 a.m. so my brain is already sleeping xD

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much for your thoughtful review. Now-go and get some sleep!

[外人 (Gaijin)]

done =D

[KAOlmsted]

"The grit between our teeth
was palatable."

-gaaaaah, why did I not write this holy cats, dude line????

I'm too mad at myself right now to even respond xD Seriously, blue. This is amazeballs. Great stuff.

[icelandicblue]

kimmer you rock! Thanks so much. You are so encouraging.

[KAOlmsted]

You blew me so far away with that line I forgot to mention how much I loved that last bit, too...that rather snide "Lover..." Top notch.

Always my pleasure. I'm just sorry it took me so damn long to get to this!

[icelandicblue]

Well after all you have been writing an amazing book. No worries, and I mean it- YOU ROCK!

[KAOlmsted]

My absolute pleasure...and thanks ;-)

[lee von cleef]

the culture crossed, dared to take, take the best of each, but their perspectives were crossed too,him bent over five times a day,sheets waving boldly across the tight alleys drying lines,Hers laden with guilt pieced together from generations of d n a ,handed through loins of believers....

[Chris]

Choices - made and wished. Life as we live it.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Chris. I appreciate your comment.

[caesarkreshen]

wow @ "snake charmer."

[icelandicblue]

thx for visiting.

[caesarkreshen]

plays flute

[Rachel Anderson]

Wooooah! Epic ending! Well done!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Rachel!

[Frieda P]

Wow, brief and to the point BANG BANG, you shot me dead with this one...! Love it.

[icelandicblue]

Why thank you Frieda. I always enjoy it when you visit my work.

[Dr. Wood ?]

again you do it..wonderful story that belies its length......I congratulate you for your simplistic genius

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Dr. Wood- I crave simplicity but it often seems to elude me!

[Coyote Poetry]

A complete story in so few words. Take a talented writer. You did very well. I like the set-up of the characters and the surprise ending. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for commenting. It is very nice to meet you. I shall return the favor soon.

[Jack...]

Very cool, I liked the feel of this and the multiple fashions we can read into it if we like. Very well written and presented.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Jack- I was going for a film noir feel. I am pleased that you found versatility in my words.

[Distant horizons]

Paints such a vivid tale in so few words. Really liked this piece. :-)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for reading Lorry!

[Distant horizons]

You're very welcome :-)