With Love

Time has not erased
the beauty that was you,
the smell of your perfume
and how you always knew

what was on my mind
and who i really was
despite mistakes I made
you loved me just because.

You left us much too soon
as I began a family of my own,
and not a day goes by
that I smile but also mourn

those moments that we shared
the love that I came from,
I miss you from my depths,
I'll always love you mom.

Reviews

[Kristin Lee]

God this one hit home. It's something I still graple with every day, and its been 23 years since I lost my mom. As my husband and I get ready to start our own family I can't imagine how I'll do it without her...and yet I've come this far. I feel your pain, and I honor you. Thank you so much for this beautiful poem.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much Kristen. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I appreciate your thoughts.

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

I lost my mom last month. The emotions in your poem are spot on. What a lovely tribute.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Sharon and I am sorry for your loss. It's so very hard.

[s y e]

Wow, this one is really touching and so relatable to many people! It was so emotional and had me tearing up, you really had the emotion spot on. This one girl in my school lost her mother, last year and was deeply upset about it when it came to exams. She said she didnt want to fail her, I said she wont fail her, no matter how bad or good you do she'll be proud because she knows you'll try your best and you'll always improve. Shes your mother and loves you tons. :) She ended up hugging me and crying. Made me cry, haha.

Amazing, Blue!

[icelandicblue]

My mom died 18 years ago...it's hard to believe I've lived so long without her. You are blazing a trail through my work girl!

[s y e]

I've been meaning to go back and read your work, had it bookmarked for a while. I cannot imagine living without my Dad or Gran!

[Annabelle Lee]

THis was really sweet. Wonderful

[icelandicblue]

Thanks, I wrote this for my mom who has passed and today would have been her birthday so I feel grateful that you found and commented on this one. Thanks

[Stefon Napier]

You have reached a level of depth that not too many people (myself included) are ready to go to just yet. You really lead the way.

[icelandicblue]

I am humbled Stefon. I just lost my dad and I haven't been on much but I promise I will be reading your poems soon. Thank you so much.

[Stefon Napier]

Don't worry about it. Poems are meant to last. They'll be there whenever you find the time. Thanks though. I'm sorry about your dad.

[Shivam Murari]

A very nicely penned poem, except the second stanza that sounds out of meaning. Well structured, nice flow. The meaning comes across and feels. Nice read :)

[Akshat♥]

I really liked it :)
So emotional too ..
Thanks for sharing it with me :)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much for your review.

[Akshat♥]

You are always welcome dear :)
Take care!!

[redflutterby]

I know I'm blessed to still have my mother in my life. Many of my close friends have lost theirs. Your love and grief rolls from every line. This is such a touching tribute to your mother. It brought tears to my eyes!

[icelandicblue]

Oh thank you Red. I am moved by your response.

[Aethereal]

I can see that it’s going to be quite an adventure analyzing your poetic language. This poem inspired me to write your first verse in a new way that you may keep as a gift: I would follow through using the same form in all the other verses if it was my poem:

Time shall not erase
memories of you,
that look on your face
telling me you knew.

[icelandicblue]

That is lovely. Thank you.

[Aethereal]

Here I used overlapping rhyme with five accent beats in each line. All the accents fall where they should. It's the memory of her beauty that isn't erased. Being from a mathematical background makes me a very logical poet when it comes to cause and effect. Meter is all about numbers. Exact rhymes may be found in any on-line rhyming dictionary. Where accents fall in words may be found in most dictionaries. When all he technical details are followed, then lines show their optimal beauty. Also, never force a rhyme. If you don't want to rhyme then at least try to keep meter within each line.

[Zahra]

This is just amazing the way emotions flow through this soft and simple poem. Really very nice.

[icelandicblue]

Aw thanks so very much. ; )