Fog and Bones

Fog and Bones

A Poem by icelandicblue
"

A Haiku

"
The smell of salt swirls
loneliness hangs in the fog
sand white like bleached bones.

© 2014 icelandicblue


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This is very good. You have a way of being able to say in a few words what it takes other many more to convey. Simple and effective, and preferable to a long-winded litany of nonsense to say something simple. There is something tactile about the environment you paint, where you can smell it and feel it when reading it. I enjoyed this tremendously.

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

I love writing haikus they were my first poetic loves. I am happy you could feel this one. Thanks so.. read more
This is a beautiful poem that we have all felt before. The mystery of a fog shrouded beach. It reminds me of a song called "Brighton Beach," by Telepopmusik. Hazy and somewhat dismal is the atmosphere. I like how you talk about bones, as if a wale's rib cage may have washed up on the beach. Beautiful little snapshot of a haiku here, Icelandic!

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thank you for such an enthusiastic reply Samuel. It is much appreciated.
Even on foggy days the smell of salt and the sand are there. I feel a lot of hope in this nice haiku. Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thanks For comment. I appreciate it.
I take from it an image that reminds me of how encroaching the fog is over something that was so normal a few days ago and how trapped I felt within its confines. Only the smell of the ocean reminds me of the place I once called home. Excellent Haiku

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thank you...and what a beautiful picture you paint.
That you are able to engage so many senses and emit such emotion is impressive, Blue! I can see, smell, and feel this one - and am chilled...

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thank you Rita...that really was my intention so you've made my poetic day!
Ma'am,
This is good on so many levels that I could not only see it in my head but also feel it.. And your imagery is so unique. I am learning quite a few things from your works. Thank you so much for sharing.. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thank you once again for your kind review.
I can feel this poem, I can picture the day you paint and the smells, the sights, the 'taste' -- everything. Simply divine.

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thank you. I wrote only haikus for years...It was nice to go back to my poetic roots.
This is the shoreline in winter.You paint a perfect picture of it with words.

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thank you Marie, I appreciate your comment.
I can picture this scene you have created perfectly. I can feel the chilly wind and taste the salt in the air. It feels like an empty beach in wintertime. The skies are grey, the colors are muted unlike their fetive summer showings and it is lonely. I really liked this one.

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much willweb. I always appreciate your visits.
Ice, I typically stay away from haikus. They frustrate me with their restrictive nature. But I love to puzzle over others' haikus. I just like puzzles. So, this one is a mystery. Salty swirling smells....that and the sand reference indicates a beach...
Loneliness hangs in the fog....a fog rolling in off the ocean or just a lonely walk on a white sandy beach? The last two words throw me off...Bleached bones indicates a cleaned carcass, which is a dirty, distinctly unpleasant job and it kind of turns this romantic sounding haiku on its head...

But, it's possible you didn't mean to go there. You may have been looking for a way to characterize just how white the sand was, and you didn't realize crazy people like me would read so far into the words...
Either way, this was a mysteriously beautiful write. Sorry for being excessively wordy tonight...:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


icelandicblue

9 Years Ago

When I write a haiku I do two things. Visualize the place and feel the mood. Then I go about picking.. read more
Bright Ocean Star

9 Years Ago

Thank you, Ice. I deeply appreciate your efforts to translate the mood in this one. You are right... read more

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Added on November 19, 2014
Last Updated on December 9, 2014

Author

icelandicblue
icelandicblue

Boston



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I do not accept any new friend requests unless we have read and commented on each others poetry. No exceptions. I have enough homework as it is. I expect reciprocity in our exchanges. Read my work and.. more..

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