I Miss You

written after visiting my Big Brother.

I miss you

 

I miss the late nights, breaking curfew

Laughter and jokes

Harmless banter and sharing of stories

Variety of snacks

Healthy not being an option

Sleep no longer a priority

Time forgotten

When surrounded by friends

Relaxing, unwinding

No worries of the future

Nothing but the present

Friends and family

Brother and sister

 

Sermons and masses

A regular face

In the IC parish

Inspirational homilies

That leaves the congregation in tears

Smiles never shown

Until the topic of death

A rare sight to see

When the church is silent

Attentive, Concentrating

Pondering your words

 

I miss having someone there

Someone who understands

And doesn’t judge

Who sees through my mask of tranquillity

And knows that the smile I wear is forced upon my lips

Not mocking my weakness

But helps me with my burden

 

I miss your listening ear

When my troubles were too much to bear

Piling up till I was ready to burst

Yet you took the time

That not many would

To listen and console

And when it got too much

Protective embrace

Hiding me from the shadows of doubt

Wiping away tears of loneliness

Taking away the cold shivers of fear

And leaving the warmth of hope

I miss that

 

So little time spent

But strong bonds made

And then you had to leave

Like the swiftness of a river

Taken away from us

From your family

From your sister

And goodbye seemed so much harder

Than we expected it to be

Who’d think we’d get so attached

But your charisma was infectious

Your worlds like wildfire

Consuming

Deadly

No mercy on who you grasp

Drawing everyone in

 

And seeing you again

It feels like just yesterday

When I could see you everyday

But it’s been awhile

Yet you look the same

Dressed in black

Meditative composure

A fooling façade for all who don’t know you

But I do

I know that through the calm

A storm is brewing

Insecurities

Loneliness

Doubts

Just like me

I know that deep inside

Fears and failures suffocate your dreams

Clouding your successes

Never being good enough

For yourself

Just like me

I know this

Because I take the time

To get to know

Those people I care about

 

And you gave me that smile

That mischievous smile

 Crinkling the corners of your eyes

Catching its gleam

Just like a puppy

Flash of understanding

A silent joke between us

Little jabs of fun

The mockery between siblings

The insults of best friends

The comfort of acceptance

All in a smile

 

And it was like you never left

Do you remember?

Waking up early to make morning mass

Breakfast with Orange Juice

Your puppy dog eyes

Do you remember?

Walking dogs through the park

Of course I got Caesar

Long rants about the cruelty

Of life being fair

Hiking and Vespers

The sweet taunts of vacant smiles

Do you remember?

Because I do

I remember every second

Not realizing then how important they’d be to me

Not knowing how much one person

Can change your life

 

And it’s funny

How the people I grow close to

Always leave

As if I’m carrying some sort of disease

Or how my closest confidants

Are the soldiers of God

His messengers on earth

Strange it seems

That he always takes them away

Leaving me wondering why?

 

I just want someone to be there

To not be alone

All the time

Surrounded by people

More curious than caring

Keeping busy

To evade the loneliness

Avoiding the silence

The constant flow of thoughts

Threatening to engulf me

Overwhelm me

Till I’m drowning in disappointments

 

 I want someone to care

Understand

Can relate how I feel

Makes sense of the chaotic mess of my mind

And won’t tell me it’ll be fine

When my life is a mess

I don’t want someone to give up

Like so many people do

Who keeps their promises

Even when it gets hard

Who I can trust

Not someone spilling

My deepest fears

 

I just want

A person to rely on

Someone to help me get through the days

Pick me up when I’m down

See I’m ok

I want to say that I have a Best Friend

A person to stick with me through the end

I guess what I’m saying

Is I miss you

My Best Friend

My Big Brother 

Author's Note

so i wrote this pretty quickly after coming back from a visit to my Big Brother. tell me what you think. I know my writing is kind of scattered right now but i needed to get my thoughts down.

Reviews

[Cassie]

This is so so beautiful, you have shown the emotion of missing some one pretty well, i relate with this poem a great deal, i love the stanzas especially"

I miss your listening ear

When my troubles were too much to bear

Piling up till I was ready to burst

Yet you took the time

That not many would

To listen and console

And when it got too much

Protective embrace

Hiding me from the shadows of doubt

Wiping away tears of loneliness

Taking away the cold shivers of fear

And leaving the warmth of hope

I miss that,
So nicely penned this is, keep going Irene. A good read

[Irene]

Thank you :)

[Patrick Henry]

Forgive me for not being aware from the obvious quotes at the top...... that this was about your brother. I didn't see the quotes and I thought you were a girl in love like no other girl you have known, personally!! This poem, if written for a lover or really really best friend, sounds like the most awesome tribute/love poem. Being that this is about your brother, it must be quite a tall order of respect you hold for him, and nothing seems able to break such a tie between you two...... I like it. xoxo -Mark

[Irene]

haha this is not actually my brother. Who is my brother theoretically. we are so close that i call him my brother and he calls me his sister.

[Patrick Henry]

It's awesome... and you are far cooler than I give you credit for in poem, to not go crazy on my "review"!! lol You're awesome.... and still I blush. : ) Great poem. xoxo -Mark

[Irene]

haha why would i go crazy?

[Tuna]

i had no problem with the length whatsoever you really brought this relationship to life for me and i can appreciate this kind of depth of understanding between individuals you emanated so well its all beautiful thank you

[Irene]

thank you so much. that really means a lot.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Irene it is a lovely poem with such a deeply loving theme. It does need crafting though and is perhaps too long in this form. Still lovely. How nice to feel so much love and closeness to a brother.

[Irene]

he's not actually my brother. I just call him that and he calls me his little sister. But thank you. I know its lengthy but i'm not sure how to shorten it without taking out the information.

[Cole Hayley]

lenthy but beautiful. Please send more RR's I love reading your work

[Irene]

oh well thanks. yeah i know its long. i just needed to get all my feelings out you know.