My Gift

I am a weak person, very weak. I am not perfect, in fact I am completely & utterly imperfect. I am even unwise, yes, unwise. Wisdom is not my strong suit. I will fail tests, fail at life, fail in friendships. I will even pray weak prayers or not at all, but one thing I always know for sure & without a doubt is I can slay, war, stand in the gap & rebuke like a pro.

I am empathetic, sympathetic & loyal, perhaps to a fault. I know my strengths & I very well know my weaknesses. I am real & not fake. I just know where I stand on certain things & know my giftings. I am ok with being laughed at, I have to be ok with it, but I know when push comes to shove, I will be sought for to pray, slay, war, stand & rebuke sickness. I am someone who brings it when needed. It gets unlocked, unleashed & comes with a force of intensity that sometimes scares me because I see myself as imperfect & think this is a gift for pros or perfect people.

I know who it's from & I choose to keep it under wraps because I know it's power. I respect my gifting & sometimes don't know how to use it, so I downplay it. I am not ashamed of it but I also feel uncomfortable using it, because I know people react to the oddness of it. I struggle sometimes because I don't put on heirs about being a prayer warrior.

I hear things, see things, feel things & react emotionally because it gets intensely overwhelming. I don't want to apologise for having my gift, I did ask for God to give me the gift he wanted me to have. I know I am an empath & know there are a few other areas I fit into, but don't know the names. I just only know in the moment when it being activated. I am visual & tangible. I don't know if this makes much sense to many of you & likely you don't care, but that's ok because I know it makes sense to God. He gave me the gift & I try to use it in certain circumstances.

I am glad people can see the gift in me. My friends, like Darla, come to me for her own son's prayer group & now a friend of her's needs prayers for her daughter, my own friend has shingles & I felt I needed to rebuke it. I just go with the flow & can only do what I am given. I am just someone who lives under the radar. I am a want to be seen & heard person but hates being seen & heard. I don't know why or if it's even explainable. I don't like being judged & so I think my gift is easily judged.

All I know is I will use it for good & not evil.