Addiction

which one do I crave more?

One last inhale .... my muscles relax.

Standing up slowly, I drape my silk robe over my shoulders. 

I analyze the scene. 

That moment when you think, ‘I know this too well. I don't want to change. maybe this is me, where I belong’ 

But it’s too easy to stay in the same place forever.

It's time to shower, wash it all off of me. The smell of shame and toxicity is overwhelming. 

I need to scrub myself clean. Cleanse. Restore.

I’ve already quit so many times, I'm hoping this one sticks. 

Leaning on the door frame, I turn back a final time soaking the last of it in. 

Naked, he smokes the cigarette - reaches out. 

“want some more babe?"

I look at him with an empty gaze, seeing nothing in that room that belongs to me anymore. 

I shake my head. 

“I’m done.” 

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[Chris]

Making a decision is seldom the same as living AFTER it.