One Simple Cut

One Simple Cut

A Poem by emma

A swipe of the blade
erases all of his misery.

The blood that drips
is all the relief he needs.

He sighs and closes his eyes
letting the red paint the floor.

His heart stops beating
and his hands go limp.

The blade falls from his bloodied fingers
his whole life ruined by one simple cut.

***

His body, limp and lifeless
He invades her dreams.

She sees his face everywhere.
He has come back for her.

She knows she screwed up
she regrets her cruel words.

She knows it was all her fault
and she knows he loved her so.

But he ended all of that
by one simple cut. 

© 2012 emma


Author's Note

emma
for an acquaintance. not my best work, but, whatever. review?

**awarded 3rd Depressing Writer in the Depression contest**
**awarded Sad:( in the depressing poems contest**
**awarded made me sad in the depressing contest**
** awarded ♥♫♪Best Poet♥♫♪ in the ♥♫♪Poetic♥♫♪Poetry♥♫♪ contest**

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Featured Review

This is really good, I like it. Few things though, lets see...line 10, replace "with" with "by" so that it is grammatically correct. Line 12, place a "He" at the beginning of the line. Rework line 14 a bit, kinda awkward. Line 15, "screwed up" perhaps might be a more accurate representation of the mood you are trying to set. Hope it helps. Good job once again.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

very sad but very well written great job

Posted 7 Years Ago


That's tragic, but good all at the same time.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I can relate to the life of a cutter.
Nicely done.


~AnnaRose

Posted 7 Years Ago


An interesting poem that tells a story, but I think it made his feelings of suicide quite simplistic. I really did like how the story is like two sides of a coin, though, telling the story from 2 different points of view AND two different places in time. Thanks for sharing :-)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wow I think this is really good! The message that you are sending out with it is amazing! How a few words could literally ruin someone's life... I can easily relate to this... Love it!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I would hate to read your worst work, for this was an excellent written piece! I felt the pain, the emotions that flowed. Very strong and powerful poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


So dark and profound, which tells a really painful story. On the first part, you can feel the boy's helplessness to attain solace by causing himself harm, because he is so much hurt .. And you can feel the remorse of the girl in the second part. You've managed to create that anguished atmosphere in the reader's mind. Good job on that.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I really, really liked this piece. I'm not 100% sure why. I just really, really liked...the darkness? The emotion? All of the above? Yeah.

Posted 7 Years Ago


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tk
that's so sad.. :( i feel his pain and suffering.. anyway, great job on this once again!! :)

"The blade falls from his bloodied fingers
his whole life ruined by one simple cut."



Posted 7 Years Ago


This is really good, I like it. Few things though, lets see...line 10, replace "with" with "by" so that it is grammatically correct. Line 12, place a "He" at the beginning of the line. Rework line 14 a bit, kinda awkward. Line 15, "screwed up" perhaps might be a more accurate representation of the mood you are trying to set. Hope it helps. Good job once again.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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30 Reviews
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Added on November 22, 2011
Last Updated on January 14, 2012

Author

emma
emma

Canada



About
i'm emma and i watch a lot of TV and movies and read a lot of books and come talk to me about that i would love to talk with you also: i write things every once and a while more..

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