One Simple Cut

One Simple Cut

A Poem by emma

A swipe of the blade
erases all of his misery.

The blood that drips
is all the relief he needs.

He sighs and closes his eyes
letting the red paint the floor.

His heart stops beating
and his hands go limp.

The blade falls from his bloodied fingers
his whole life ruined by one simple cut.

***

His body, limp and lifeless
He invades her dreams.

She sees his face everywhere.
He has come back for her.

She knows she screwed up
she regrets her cruel words.

She knows it was all her fault
and she knows he loved her so.

But he ended all of that
by one simple cut. 

© 2012 emma


Author's Note

emma
for an acquaintance. not my best work, but, whatever. review?

**awarded 3rd Depressing Writer in the Depression contest**
**awarded Sad:( in the depressing poems contest**
**awarded made me sad in the depressing contest**
** awarded ♥♫♪Best Poet♥♫♪ in the ♥♫♪Poetic♥♫♪Poetry♥♫♪ contest**

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Featured Review

This is really good, I like it. Few things though, lets see...line 10, replace "with" with "by" so that it is grammatically correct. Line 12, place a "He" at the beginning of the line. Rework line 14 a bit, kinda awkward. Line 15, "screwed up" perhaps might be a more accurate representation of the mood you are trying to set. Hope it helps. Good job once again.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I don't know if it is your best work, however this is one I have felt the most. The darkest of the room with light shining off the knife as the it cuts into flesh and spilling liquid of life. The sheer pain of her words as tears line the contours of his face and the heavy heart of the poor girl who unintentionally set it all in emotion. And the burden of living with that for now and in the future, what a great ride it was.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I can feel the pain in this poem...... sad but very nice work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


It is very good but very sad. nice write....

Posted 12 Years Ago


Really good

Posted 12 Years Ago


beautiful pain. sounds familiar, i love it, very relatable, your amazing with your writes keep it up C:

Posted 12 Years Ago


that is harsh but true. also it's very sad

Posted 12 Years Ago


Love it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


A beautiful tragedy. Good job! :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Aw! >,<
So hurtful, I must admit!
Anyway, excellent poem...
Stunning concept!
:)))

Posted 12 Years Ago


This speaks out. Love is painful

Posted 12 Years Ago



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1107 Views
30 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on November 22, 2011
Last Updated on January 14, 2012

Author

emma
emma

Canada



About
i'm emma and i watch a lot of TV and movies and read a lot of books and come talk to me about that i would love to talk with you also: i write things every once and a while more..

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