Theme Song

Theme Song

A Poem by Iris Jayne
"

strambotto romagnuolo. haha. i had to copy paste that one, i keep forgetting it.

"

The sweet and melodious introductions start

Tentative voices meld and unite as one

It gathers strength with every beat of the heart

The rhythm renders all hesitation gone

Chorus, a blend of harmonies and kisses

Every note lights up a flame in the darkness

Their minds and hearts urging them not to falter

Keep it playing and rewinding forever

 

A bridge comes, rising different and unknown

The unsafe melody drawing fear and doubt

Sharps and flats weave ways through a wonderful tone

The voices deteriorate, the notes fallout

But as long as the beat keeps a steady flow

The song doesn’t stop; two souls just learn and grow

Till the end will be filled with church bells galore

And a thousand chances to sing it once more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


© 2010 Iris Jayne



Author's Note

Iris Jayne
okay. it was easier the second time, but not because im getting good, maybe just because i could BEAR it more now. rhyming actually kind of rocks, you know? and this one's, uh, tha stramsomething form. it sounds like food to me...anyway, reviews, comments and suggestions will surely make me better! thanks. (:

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Reviews

Really like this- I love the subtlety of the rhyme scheme, and the wonderful word choice. Overall, great write. :)

-Coral-

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like it! It allows the reader to create an amazing picture in their head. I think of a Naruto scene. :D

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very nice! You're correct, the second verse is much stronger than the first, but a good job on both. Don't worry, I mysteriously always want pasta when ever I think too long on a Strambotto. Strambotto Siciliano, mmmmmm! LOL.

The Raven King has already stated the form corrections need so I won't repeat them. Overall, a very lovely ode to music that i really enjoyed.

Keep up the good work and thanks for participating in the Poetry in-FORM-ation Challenge.

Posted 7 Years Ago


You paint a pretty picture here with your diction and syntax. Very beautiful. There are some technical problems though. All lines have to be 11 syllables exactly and you have 12 syllables in lines 1, 3, and 6 in the first stanza and line 4 of the second stanza. An easy fix. Thanks for reviewing mine as well. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


love it. music's your gift. :)) i was about to write a poem like this too. :)) i dnt know why but i suddenly remembered Edward and Alice Cullen while they were making Bella's Lullaby. hahaha.
favorite parts:
Every note lights up a flame in the darkness
Their minds and hearts urging them not to falter
&
But as long as the beat keeps a steady flow
The song doesn’t stop; two souls just learn and grow

Posted 7 Years Ago



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279 Views
5 Reviews
Added on June 9, 2010
Last Updated on June 9, 2010

Author

Iris Jayne
Iris Jayne

Candon, Philippines



About
Sometimes I think I babble too much. more..

Writing
Love. Love.

A Poem by Iris Jayne