Broken Puzzle

Here I am once more, listening to some music, fighting to be strong and keep myself together. Unsure about my decisions, unsure about my future, about my whole life really. New beginnings should be thrilling, exciting, however the absence of those feelings couldn’t be louder.

So strongly, I strive not to disappoint. My parents, my grandparents, all the people who used to think I was destined for greatness and mostly myself. Always have I had big dreams and larger than life goals, yet now it seems they are all escaping me. The riveting visions of my fabulous future in my beautiful house in that ideal American town… They once upon a time helped me through the toughest of times. Now, it seems they are trapped inside my head, putting weight on every step I take. Never not worrying, worrying about those dreams slowly slipping away from me. 

Running from the familiar in search of new, better things. Always on the look-out for fresh chances, new places. Hoping that something new will give me that warmth in my heart, that long lost peace in my soul. Maybe I keep running, keep looking for that one thing, all because I would not be able to handle the feeling of standing still. Frightened to become too captivated by thoughts inside my head, afraid of the ear-piercing silence that grows every day. 

Zealously awaiting the moment for all the puzzle pieces to fall together. It may be a big, bright puzzle indeed, one that could inspire many once completed. But what is the use, when perhaps the most vital pieces are missing? No one cares for a broken toy, not for too long anyhow. Mended it has to become at some point, because people will get weary of an incomplete puzzle eventually. So time keeps on ticking, pressure keeps rising and the ones who cared will slowly become disinterested in the story of the broken puzzle. 

So I keep on looking for those pieces, to at last complete that beautiful picture. Pretending the wrong pieces fit in places they do not belong. All because the fear of losing hope and being left behind by the ones who once believed, will someday become too abundant.
Knowing where to find all the fitting pieces has become a struggle almost too despairing. But what if filling up those empty spaces with all the wrong pieces is only crushing what is left of the original parts? Eventually, there won’t be a whole anymore, merely a brittle ensemble of squashed pieces hanging together, pretending to finally be complete. 

Author's Note

This is my first ever online writing piece. Please leave a comment to tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

This is well written and j(just a little) mirrors one of my own pieces - The Storm. If this is autobiographical, then stop trying to put circles in square holes and triangles in round ones. Become fluid, in purpose and needs, and you will fill all spaces perfectly, until you're "over it" or another puzzle board comes along and then just spill yourself out and move on. If this is a philosophical "what if", then it's a perfect accounting of how a 30 something might feel. In any case, well written and I'm glad I saw it in the feed. It's 6 am here in Biloxi, MS and I've been up all night with my two new foster puppies - who are more work than any human baby I've ever cared for! But I digress, looking forward to reading more of your work. It's a pleasure to read an talented, skilled writer.

[Chris]

Some stories are written to enthrall, thrill, and entertain. Other stories speak toward adventure and historical views - even fantasy. Some are essays - occasionally of an author's social, perhaps autobiographical and societal times - depicting/commenting life, social themes, and parodies.

This one "feels" like an essay to me. It doesn't come across as personal/autobiographical - it leaves a taste as a commentary on societal expectations toward what goals its members are directed toward and what failure to achieve those "visions" seems to enact upon a current generation.

It has structure and thought and could be expanded fairly readily.

[Kuteybird]

'So time keeps on ticking, pressure keeps rising and the ones who cared will slowly become disinterested in the story of the broken puzzle'
Wow, just wow. Those lines resignated so deep within myself. I have been broken on a time schedule that has expired in my family and friends views. Dramatic me lol.

[Lucas90]

Though the symbolism in this piece has been used before, you put a nice spin on it. Well written and it has an honest and pure feel to it. I am very interested in your future work.

[Gayle McMillan]

I am old and I have lived a lot of life, and when I read this- There is a feeling of great sadness and despair.
I feel your need for answers and to understand about your life, to see your hopes and dreams be fulfilled. Piece by piece, the puzzle will begin to fit together and make sense. Opportunities will present themselves and you will not be disappointed!
A sad, but well expressed prose with true and honest feelings. I too, look forward to reading more of your poetry!

[issa]

That is truly really nice and also comforting to read, especially from someone with more experience in life. Thank you for taking the time to review my piece, I greatly appreciate it.

[Gayle McMillan]

I was hoping to bring some comfort, and hoped you wouldn't be up set if I tried to give you some
read moreI was hoping to bring some comfort, and hoped you wouldn't be up set if I tried to give you some
Grandmotherly advice! I was hoping you wouldn't be offended! Thank you!