I jogged home in the pitter patter

I ran home in the rain today

From my school four miles away

Within the matter of an hour

The sprinkle turned to heavy shower

But that’s okay, it doesn’t matter

I jogged home in the pitter patter

Dance of the lonely rain.

 

From my forehead it rained sweat

No one could tell since I was wet

I ran whilst the spirits fly

Their sweat fell on me from the sky

But that’s okay, it doesn’t matter

I jogged home in the pitter patter

Sweat of the heavy rain.

 

Beneath a canvas painted grey

I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my way

Daylight faded in the fog before me

Covering the path home from my journey

But that’s okay, it doesn’t matter

I jogged home in the pitter patter

Cry of the weary rain.

 

I can’t stop now, I’m almost home

Deeper into the fog I roam

Cars whiz by from either side

Had I tripped I would’ve died

But that’s okay, it doesn’t matter

I jogged home in the pitter patter

Wrath of the deadly rain.

 

And it doesn’t stop falling

No it won’t stop falling

Let it keep on falling

Falling, falling,

FALLING

 

Ah! I can finally see my street!

Now I can rest my feet!

The spirits smile at me

And bare their rainbow teeth

To see that my spirit didn’t shatter

As I jogged home in the pitter patter

Smile of the lovely rain.

Reviews

[Jessica Bryn]

This would make a lovely song. I love the rhythm of it.
To make it flow better, I suggest you take the word "light" out of the fourth line, so it just reads: "The sprinkle turned to heavy shower."
It helps to read your writing out loud to yourself, that way you can really hear if it flows or falters.
Also, your tense keeps changing from present to past, which makes my mind switch back and forth between watching the person jog and listening to the person tell me about their jog. If you changed all your "jogged" to "jog," the journey would remain present tense and be a lot easier to read.
Hope I helped!

[Smiley Fry]

Thank you for your advice! You were right, I should go back and fix that. :)