Can we fall in love online?

Can we fall in love online?

A Poem by itsmenabs

He doesn't know how I actually am crazy about him
It's so weird yet exciting to imagine him as curiosity is killing me
Seems as though there has been a connection since forever.
Dying to finally come alive and set sparks.

Why do I actually like him so much?
Even though we haven't been talking much
Is that meant to be?
Feelings slowly taking over and soon it will destroy me

Am I just waiting for something that will never happen?
Many people have told me it's worthless
Yet I keep the faith
His looks get looked down as average
But I feel he is the one and only.

Certain moments I will never forget.
Those that made my heart tingle
I hate how everything I say and feel so cliche
But I don't know how to put it in a better way

Your eyes and smile put me in a different world
But I am already living in a dream world
Is this all waste of time?
I really need something to set the sparks.

Even tiniest things light up my world.
My instinct tells me there is a chance
And I don't want to lose those feelings
I am never going to get sick of those love songs
It's like every song makes me think of you

I don't know what comes over me
I stay up so late in the hope of speaking to you
I have never paid so much attention to my looks
But now I have started using makeup
It's all because I just want to impress you

Sometimes I think it's not worth it
Afterall, it is just my imagination and obsession
But then again thoughts of you makes my heart beat faster
Sat there like a loser with love songs
Looking at your pics and drifting off to sweet thoughts

I am sure I am just as pathetic as the rest, sad as ever
There is something clinging to me
Which won't let me lose your sight or remembering you.





© 2017 itsmenabs



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Reviews

Each stanza sings of luscious love's design
lays out with clarity the hopeful clues
until evolving, fluid and benign,
into a song of silent, fulsome blues.

When digging from within to find what's real
The only goal's to catch a moments joy
from restrained terms the wordsmith might repeal
When grasping 'round to find another ploy.

A lover, upon hearing words of cheer,
may have no notion why his mood's so grand.
He'll feel the joy and know you hold him dear
and rise to the occasion at your hand?

A poets strength brings forth, for all it's worth
confusion underlying first love's birth.



Posted 2 Months Ago


I really liked this. Isn't it something how when you meet someone online, you build them up in your head and create a character of them that is destined to be crushed upon meeting?

Posted 4 Months Ago


This is a realistic depiction of how it might be for those who are falling in love online all over the world. It's a common phenomenon, so I'm sure your questioning is going thru millions of minds right this minute. It feels foolish at times becuz there's nobody to hold or touch. You've conveyed this idea well & the feelings of insecurity that go with it. For future writings, I would encourage you to try using more details (makes poems more unique & memorable) & not so many generalities (makes poems sound alike). Instead of saying: "The tiniest things light up my world" -- SHOW US THIS! Show me some examples of the little things he/she does . . . like the way I use (((HUGS))) is something unusual & hopefully sets me apart a little bit. Put such details into your poems & the messages come alive with imagery & relatability! Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Months Ago


A fair question, which I believe you answered in your poem. YES! No relationship is a waste of time. We all take away something meaningful, even if it's a tough lesson. You captured well the magic and the naivety of online "love," though. How deep is it, for you and the other person. Yet, it's hope (conveyed in your last line), and that's good enough for now. Nice work!

Posted 5 Months Ago


I like how you create this image of a one sided stalker obsession. I especially like how the female narrator puts this man she is obsessing over on a pedestal, and that you completely omit any of 'his' reactions to her obsession. Great imagery, great word choices. Love the second to last stanza, especially the last line

"Looking at your pics and drifting off to sweet thoughts"

Posted 5 Months Ago


itsmenabs

5 Months Ago

Thank you for your beautiful comments! :)
Beautifully written, I love your word choice, as well as how you structured this poem.
Just a suggestion. the 3rd to last stanza, 2nd to last line,
¨But now I have started using makeups¨
did you mean ´makeup´ or is the ´s´ supposed to be there?
Might wanna go back and fix that if its not.
Other than that very minor thing, this is a wonderful read, and I cant wait to read more of your work.
Send me a read request as soon as you publish anything new please!

Posted 5 Months Ago


itsmenabs

5 Months Ago

Thanks for ur comment, I have edited it to 'makeup'
and sure i will send u read request when .. read more
I can relate to this peom so much 😂😂💔 , actually I felt like if that was me who wrote it .
Great job !

Posted 5 Months Ago


itsmenabs

5 Months Ago

thanks dear!
Nora

5 Months Ago

My pleasure :)
Another interesting theme. Your words are very clear and precise. Your message is clear and strong. Your details of poem looks very real. Itself poem looks very strong.

Posted 5 Months Ago


itsmenabs

5 Months Ago

Thanks for the comment :)
MARTIN IN DISORDER OF DCD

5 Months Ago

You very welcome.
Oh goodness. That was so relatable and so beautifully written.✍
'I don't know what comes over me
I stay up so late in the hope of speaking to you'
It's so true ❤
Such a graceful Writer.
Keep writing Friend ♥☯

Posted 5 Months Ago


itsmenabs

5 Months Ago

Thanks friend! I write what i feel, may be that's why it seems relatable to most of us
Rashi Jain

5 Months Ago

Absolutely. ♥

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Added on December 4, 2017
Last Updated on December 4, 2017

Author

itsmenabs
itsmenabs

United Kingdom



About
23 yrs old.....Seeking peace, love and happiness# my hobby is writing.. more..

Writing
Feelings Feelings

A Poem by itsmenabs



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