Imaginative Diarrhea

Imaginative Diarrhea

A Story by R. L. Hill

Let’s play a game. Like bingo. (I’m talking with the voice of robo-Arnold, by the way.) Imagine me sticking a fork into your brain like Hannibal and then scrambling it around till they turn to mooshy goodness to make jelly…Just did it because you envisioned it. Isn’t it awesome how our brain’s eyeballs work? Now I put the image of a girl hovering in mid-air. Now a pink helicopter. How about a hippopotamus eating bananas with a penguin on his back? Yep. You saw it and that makes me smile because I am now officially a wizard. I have just proved my skill to you. You shall not pass! Not until you think of a million balloons floating over Central Park. A ballerina has just lost her shoe and cries on stage. Her tutu is purple. Were you thinking pink? I bet you were, but nope, it’s purple with blue fringe, and the ballerina is not really a ballerina but a girl with black rings around her eyes and a nasty attitude towards productive people. Don’t you see that brunette in the killer red dress kicking off her heels at the end of the day? Perhaps she’ll drink a glass of wine or hide from an abusive ex-husband. You’d be wrong because that particular brunette’s name is Tina, and she’s a painter having just come back her first debut show. She’s tipsy, but it doesn’t matter. She just sold all of her paintings. Now think of her cat. Where is she hiding? I thought she had a dog, but who knows anymore. Wasn’t it a husky? No, no, it was certainly a Great Dane. No wait, reverse that thought. She does have a cat and she’s hiding under the table.

 

This dream of yours is just now starting. And it is a dream isn’t it? The words are seductive, pulling you in for a visual whirlwind. I bet we’ll end up in Oz. Don’t squash the witch! Bounce twice on your pogo stick. Vomit up your green liquor into the toilet. Eat oysters and talk to a clam. Shoot the moon with an arrow. Uh oh, you made it explode into a billion yellow feathers. Isn’t this fun? I sure think so. Let’s keep going. You are a serial killer. Scary thought, hmm? Or is that comforting? Palms sweaty? Heart racing? Did you just murder that man? Yes, you did, and the cops are hot on your tail. You’re covered in blood, but the blood starts to sparkle and now you’re a fairy with tiny silver wings sitting in the middle of an open field talking to butterflies and crushing lady bugs under the toe of your pixie shoes. Jeez, talk about issues. Why is your mind thinking of all these things? Can’t you turn it off? Breath through your nose and out through your mouth. Say something silly, but don’t laugh. Laughing is forbidden in sector 8. I’d really rather not see you caned. Too much? Nah. You can handle it.

 

Don’t drown! I’ll catch you! Don’t worry. But I’m pretty sure you think I’m lying although I’m not, but how can you be sure? I did just sleep with your wife three nights ago. She wasn’t very good either so I can see why you wanted a divorce. Sorry I brought it up, man. Just saying. I’ll save your life though because I’m vindictive like that. I’m not a murderer. You are. Remember? Did you hear that? Was that a siren? No. I think it was a jazz band. Wait…I hear it again. Can’t you? A choir of school boys is singing about Christ. Birds are chirping. A bee just buzzed by your ear. You’re allergic, right? Better be careful. I said be careful! Great, now you are swelling up. I can’t tell if you have fingers or not anymore. They all look like sausage links. Let’s think of some other fun things to think about. Does food sound good? I can hear your tummy grumble. Imagine deep dish pizza swallowed with a swig of beer. Suck in your beer gut. Turn off football. The baby needs milk.

 

I probably shouldn’t ask so many questions, but I truly am curious about the effect I am having on your brain. Does this feel like a dream? Or how about a nightmare…Ooo, let’s have fun with that. No way! I have to talk with the shadows every night already, but I won’t bore you with their plans for revenge. No, don’t worry. It shouldn’t hurt for too long. Just think of fluffy pink clouds that taste like sour apples. Unicorns are winning an unfair race. Dandelions actually have secret lives and you just imagined smothering a leprechaun with a pillow. Do the jumping jacks. Rake the leaves. Scale a mountain. Sleep with a stranger and have serious regrets in the morning because that stranger is a gorilla wearing yellow spandex as he yells about being a banana. Why do you keep thinking of bananas?


© 2016 R. L. Hill



Author's Note

R. L. Hill
This is an exercise that I encourage you to try. Just write. Don't obsessed over spelling or punctuation or grammar. Just spew word vomit on the page and let it carry you. This helps me produce a flow of creative thought, and helps me prep for writing stories. Thought I would share this one with you in its raw form so you can get a feel of how it works. Don't you think you could write a story after reading this? Give it a go.

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Reviews

I like the way your mind works my friend - even when you are "just writing" as you say. This is creative and captivating. I'm going to give it a try.

:) Julie

Posted 3 Years Ago


Oh wow.. mm.. a dysfunctional family of words thoughts and phrases makes for some great stories yes indeed. My problem is I start thinking of weird things and now I have bananas on the brain hahaha. Thank you for this it really relaxes you after a hard day of serial killings :D

Posted 3 Years Ago


It truly is wonderful what a human mind can come up with, hahaha. It always amazes me.

Posted 3 Years Ago


This was interesting my friend writing about everything and nothing at all.I don't think it would bode well for me to pen what comes to my mind lol

Posted 3 Years Ago


R. L. Hill

3 Years Ago

Haha....Do it anyways! It's great to see what comes out of it.
Vidya Bacchus

3 Years Ago

Haha maybe I will try :)
I'm not sure what to say! Hahahaha You have quite the rapid imagination going here! This is always a very good exercise to do for sure. Thanks for the glimpse into your mind! :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


R. L. Hill

3 Years Ago

You're welcome. You should try it out. I'd love to see what you produce

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Added on March 21, 2014
Last Updated on May 4, 2016


Author

R. L. Hill
R. L. Hill

San Antonio, TX



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"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it." ~Anais Nin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.. more..

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