Catch-22

Alone once more and yet again

I can continue to pretend,

That what we have is something true

And that you feel the way I do.

 

But strip away the crumbling layers

And you become one of those players,

Another girl, a bit of fun,

You know full well she’s not the one.

 

I let you in, I trusted you,

Something I knew I shouldn’t do,

I gave too much and fell too far,

And now I’m left with the scar.

 

The worst is that I’m figured out,

You know what I am all about,

You know which buttons you can press

And how to get me to say yes.

 

But you have given me nothing

Other than from what you sing,

A thought out glimpse of how you feel,

Then I decide which parts are real.

 

I guess I always knew the score,

That it was wrong to hope for more,

But how you act and what you say

Are two different shades of grey.

 

Now I’m left in broken pieces

And the pain never decreases,

I look at you and I feel hate

But also see in you a mate.

 

And that is the catch-22,

What makes me feel like s**t is you.

But it’s you that picks me up,

And who stops me giving up.