15A Chapter by Dark Angel ~
I sat on the very edge of her bed and watched her as she woke. I had my wings wrapped around me, like I was trying to hide (which was very cowardly, and very pitiful, I admit.)
"Liam, whatsa matter?" She asked, her eyes amazingly child like.
So many things. I thought when I found I couldn't speak. You remember the secrets I said I couldn't tell you?
Yes. She sat up, still meeting my eyes.
Well, you get to know today.
Interest sparked in her eyes.
But first... Come here... She came near enough to be covered by my wings. She touched one hesitantly, making me tremble. Isibell... Why was I scared? I already knew how she felt. Instead of trying to tell her, I lifted her chin and kissed her lips gently. I felt her give in to me as she wrapped her arms around me.
Goddess, thank you. She thought.
I had to stop myself after that. Goddess, she's going to hate me.
"I love you too." She said, smiling.
I moaned. "Ah, hold on to that.
Her smile slowly fell. "What's the matter?"
"Just... listen. With my story in mind, listen." I took a breath and went to the window. "I... do you remember your dark time? When you were twelve?" The age still made me cringe. She had been twelve.
She hesitated a moment. "Yes." She mumbled. I felt her flinch.
"See, I was having a dark time as well. Much darker than yours, because of the obvious... I may have been the cause for... yours." I breathed deeply again. "You see... Name all of the things that happened to you, in order."
"In order? I was raped, I started cutting, my dad died, I ran from home... and briefly- very briefly- became a prostitute to earn money to support myself while I was out on the street."
I wonder how badly it would hurt this body if I jumped through the glass of this window? I wondered briefly. No, get a handle on yourself. Face this.
I nodded. "Right. Now here is what I did during this time... I turned away from our Goddess..." I turned to face her. "And I turned back to my demonic ways. This point in my life lasted be one year... during which... I raped a twelve year old girl and killed her father. This little girl, I remember, screamed- prayed to Goddess- as I did this horrible thing to her. And this same little girl cried and begged the Goddess why when she found her dad dead outside the house early in the morning."
The silence after I said this was deafening, horrible. As it stretched on, that horrible year flashed before me. The memories I had been suppressing for so long began flowing free.
"That twelve year old little girl..." Isibell whispered. I could feel her anger building as she fit the pieces together. "You." And her eyes gleamed with hatred. "You did all that to me. You're the cause of it all. You're the reason why I spent a year on the street, selling my body to any f**k with money in his wallet. You..." Tears started building up and she shook her head. I can't believe you. She thought. But she knew I wasn't capable of lying to her. "Get out. She whispered. "Get out, and don't you come anywhere near me ever again."
"But you don't..."
"Shut up. I don't want you. Leave, you f*****g a*****e, and don't you ever, ever, ever come into my life again. The only reason I needed you was because of something you caused in the first place. I don't need you, I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear from you- in my thoughts or otherwise. You fucked up my life, then thought you could come to me and pretend you didn't... pretend like you really..." She paused to wipe tears. "You're nothing but a demon. That's all you ever have been, all you ever will be. Go back and burn in the f*****g Hell you came from, you f*****g piece of s**t! I f*****g HATE you!"
Just because I knew that was coming didn't mean it hurt me any less.
Goddess, why did you do this to me? Why did you let me fall in love with him if you knew I was only going to get hurt like all the other times.
Goddess, and I let him touch me, kiss me. He watched me sleep. I shut my eyes and grabbed my pillow. I'm so stupid... Why did I think?... Why was I crying? He wasn't worth the tears. You're crying because you love him, and still love him. But I don't trust him. And there can't be love without trust.
© 2011 Dark Angel ~
Added on June 25, 2011
Last Updated on June 25, 2011
I Need To Be Saved By You.
Dark Angel ~
Where am I, exactly?, FL
AboutIzzy. Short for Ismode. I write... All the time xD sadly, I don't have the time to post them here. I'm nerdy, a choir geek, and probably really, really weird. I tend to be quiet until I get to know y.. more..
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