break me

break me

A Poem by J. Elsie

as far as I'm concerned

 

you can smash the frames

 

once holding pictures of

 

you and I and that crazy

 

idea of 'family' we envisioned

 

 

 

tear down the wallpaper

 

we covered the old flowery

 

with, and paint over any

 

memories you have of

 

bloodstains and yelling

 

the pain and anger of this

 

'love' we believed in

 

 

 

throw out expensive furniture

 

and hand me down sheers

 

and sheets that smell of our

 

past, make trash of anything

 

that reminds you of where we used

 

to dream about our 'future' together

 

 

 

burn the late notices and the love

 

notes and the 'be home at 8, dinner's

 

in the fridge' memos and the dress

 

I wore on our wedding day and the

 

tie I bought you on our second Christmas

 

together, burn it all, inhale the smoke,

 

pray for burned nerve endings, numbness,

 

when you wake, if you wake

 

 

 

break my candle sticks and knick-knacks

 

my music discs and the door to my office

 

break into my diary and a locked filing cabinet

 

break my heart

 

I beg you

 

 

 

Then I may know I am still a human

 

And not a monster

 

Then I may know the pain I've caused

 

And that life isn't all rainbows and butterflies

 

Bring me back to earth

 

Cut down my ego

 

Un-warp my mind

 

 

 

Break me

 

 

 

So that I may finally be fixed


© 2008 J. Elsie



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Featured Review

This is very humbling to read. It has so much power and it heads in an unexpected direction. There's so much raw emotion in the writing and you sense this inflated world that needs to totally destruct, so that after the big bang, something new can arise. You feel the baggage that the narrator is dragging around -- the weight of her world, really.

Posted 10 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Insanely dramatic and moving. You don't hand the reader a list of emotions, but describe it so well it's like I'm not even reading poetry, but a heart-wrenching story. This is one of my favorite poems-- so raw.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This piece is emotive and visceral enough to have been written with the tip of a razor. It exposes raw nerve endings in a way that few writers can do. Great work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. This is really amazing.

The last line really hit me in the gut. It reminds me of a quote, "we must lose ourselves in order to find ourselves."

Thanks for sharing it. Well done.

-R

Posted 9 Years Ago


Very well written. I like the style of the wrighting!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Stunning!!! It's like you have captured my mind perfectly. How did you do that?!?!?! I know exactly what you are talking about and you expressed it effortlessly. Thank you so much for sharing!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very powerful write. I don't know what else to say but how amazing it truly is.
Keep it up.
~Karissa

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I am a lock without a key; and people keep banging on my door wanting in and I just push them away. They don't understand. Truth is, neither do I. I'm broken. Inside. Look just fine from three feet away. No one understands. That I am broken. From the inside. I hold the pieces in my hands and I can't put them back together and in my frustration I thrown them to the pavement and crush them under my heel but from three feet away, I look fine. I would like to be fixed. I would like to find a fixer. I would like to believe in this dream. That somewhere, someone has a key; and that key, fits my lock. I would. But the sun has rose and it has set more times than I would like to account, for with the rising and the setting I've traded a dream for the ticket. I've got a whole collection of tickets. All unpunched. Night is coming. I've got a ticket in my hand. I'd like to say I'm jaded, but that would only be a facade hiding my fear. You see, I'm broken and broken don't sleep too well.

I liked your poem. Maybe too much.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed the originality of the poem and the truth behind the feelings it conveyed. I thought the grey bars and spaces between the lines added to the mood of the piece. The ending I found to be a great twist which I am able to relate to. Overall great piece.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is painful beyond words.

From love to hate, "'love' we believed in" to "the pain and anger of this" is horrific. We always want to think that we will make it through, we will always live as the "'family' we envisioned." But life throws things at you that sometimes you can't surpass; hearts are broken but we are all human, you are not a monster. And we all need to break sometimes "So that I may finally be fixed."






Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

humbling would definitely be the word.

this is... flippin fantastic though.

the flow is.... just great. it read SO smoothly, and yet at such a fast clip. oftentimes, when a poet means for it to read like that, i just end up stumbling all over it. but you did something great with this.

i was going through... and just being broken down. but then in the end, you admit... i guess.. a fault on your part? as though you actually deserve to be broken. .... that was interesting, and quite the twist.

"together, burn it all, inhale the smoke,


pray for burned nerve endings, numbness,


when you wake, if you wake"

lines like that were just fantastic. but the whole piece read so beautifully. i guess the endign sort of through me off - it just sort of ended, and slightly with that (break me- fix me) cliche... which ... kind of left the ending lacking something. but that's the end of my constructive criticism! all over, i loved this :)
hugs



Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 10, 2008

Author

J. Elsie
J. Elsie

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About
10/31/2017 My contributions to this site began in 2007 and mostly ended in 2011. I made several close friends here, but life took me elsewhere and I thought writing was a pasttime. Recently, while .. more..

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