Your window...

Your window...

A Poem by J. Elsie
"

this was originally written as a comment for one of eric's pieces. I found that he inspired me more greatly than anyone. what a gift it is to have known him to have gazed through his window.

"

Yours is a window I look through time and again...
I'd crawl over bushes with thorns to view your love...
slip on the tulips, bust my chin on the sill...
stand again, forget brushing off, climb barefoot up a brick wall...
Just to watch you, just to hear you, just to know you...
Leave me out in the cold when you must...
but...
Don't close the curtains on me...
Don't take your lamplight from my dark nights...
Allow me to confirm your existence...
It is enough to be part of your life...
Even if I'm just gazing through glass...


© 2017 J. Elsie



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Just gazing through glass. This makes me think of someone attracted to another online, and even though they cannot be with this person, they don't want to see them close their account or disappear. It is not really enough to look through the window, but when that is all you have, and it is asking for so little, it seems cruel to be denied. Especially, when there is no reason to close the curtains...no one else is peeping it is just "harmless" you, quietly soaking in the reassurance someone like that exists. Sometimes, we need to know people like we dream of - are real, that there is a chance we can find one in the bushes, too and those are the ones we can touch in all the ways a heart needs to touch. Great write, I enjoyed reading.

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is beautiful. I love the line "Even if I'm just gazing through glass." Your poem is a work of art.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Gee
Wanting that which you cannot have and instead settling for friendship just to share their company must weigh heavy on the heart.
Saying that some willingly settle for this.
Enjoyed this too.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


The glass, the glass! So hideously desperate... I don't know if making this change would add a totally different feel to the poem, but I might consider changing "Even if I'm just gazing through glass" to "Even if I'm just gazing at glass". I think it'd exaggerate the impersonal, detached love for the one who refused to make it mutual. Again, amazing piece.

Posted 6 Years Ago


This is a wonderful poem, I can see this actually hapening. Well done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


The imagery in this poem is great. It's hard to find a concrete poem that you can actually see. "I'd crawl over bushes and thorns to view your love" and "climb barefoot up a brick wall" are my favorite lines. I have to agree with Adam, though, about the ellipses. I think the added time to read them slows down the pace of the poem too much, and they really don't add anything to the poem, but either way the words are more important than the punctuation anyway.

Keep up the good work.

Posted 9 Years Ago


slip on the tulips, bust my chin on the sill...
this is my favorite line. Very nice poem. One suggestion: I don't know how attached you are to the dot dot dot thing at the end of each line, but I think you could do without it. Reason being, I don't think it adds anything to what is a very good poem. Instead, I think it threatens to detract... (for what its worth...)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Nicely written, good job.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is a sweet little poem. Reminds me of a scene in Romeo and Juliet.

-R

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anissa Ali

3 Weeks Ago

I completely agree
I agree with Crimson Shadow's review

It is desperate and vulnerable, innocent and misguided. I love the sad humour of falling about desperately in the garden, metaphorical or not - knowing you are being a goofy clown, or that there is something ridiculous and absurd about the way you feel and the way it makes you behave.

It makes me want to hug you... through the glass!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I know this feeling. Better to some small part than none at all. Watching from afar, longing to be close. It's you in every word.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

702 Views
12 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 10, 2008
Last Updated on November 1, 2017

Author

J. Elsie
J. Elsie

MO



About
10/31/2017 My contributions to this site began in 2007 and mostly ended in 2011. I made several close friends here, but life took me elsewhere and I thought writing was a pasttime. Recently, while .. more..

Writing
He is... He is...

A Poem by J. Elsie


Bullshit Bullshit

A Poem by J. Elsie



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..