Apply in person

Becareful when that front door opens, you never know who might be on the other side.

Apply in person

Jack Ivey

 

Liz had found the ad on the popular website, Nanny Wanted.  It read, Apply in Person, 43 Hatch Rd. She normally didn't like using this site, based on news reports of scams and worse, but the address was in an affluent neighborhood on the north side of town. And it was exactly the job she had been looking for.

 

The colonial style house, red brick with black shutters and white picket fence was very nice. The man who answered the door was well dressed but had a strange look about him. Once inside Liz noticed there were no signs of children anywhere. She found it odd, but the father explained that they were gone with their mother for the day.

 

Liz followed him into a lavishly appointed living room where she took a seat on an over-sized leather couch. She was relieved to see photos of his wife and children on the mantle above the stone fireplace. He asked her several questions and reviewed her references before he told her she was hired. He then offered her a drink to celebrate, which she gladly accepted.

 

* * *

 

Upon regaining consciousness, the horror of being bound and gagged took over. The musty odor of the damp basement floor made it hard to breathe, and the darkness was suffocating. Each footstep or noise heard on the floor above created tentacles of distress. Thoughts of, “what if” battled with terrified fears, that raged non-stop. What would happen next? Would this be the end? Struggling only caused the plastic strap bindings to tighten, increasing the pain with every movement.

 

A faraway door opened, a slow creaking sound that sent shivers up and down the spine.  Then footsteps on the stairs pounded, each one of them getting closer and closer. The sound was deafening as sweat began escaping from every pore. A hand grabbed the duct tape and ripped it from his eyes. He stared at her menacing grin, his screams muffled by the gag which still covered his mouth.

 

“Shut up, and quit your whining,” she barked, holding a large butcher’s knife in her hand. His eyes became large as saucers as he struggled to fight the bindings holding him.

 

“Hush,” she whispered in his ear, “you have nothing to worry about until your kids get home.” 

Author's Note

Knock, knock...who's there?

Reviews

[Dusty]

I really enjoyed this story. The build up was done very nicely and when you did reach the end it all seemed to fall on you like a ton of bricks. (In a good way, of course.) The scene in the basement i feel could have had a bit more of suspense to it. Add a few more atmospheric details here and there and I would fall in love. Overall, this is a great story and that last line really does make your hair stand on end.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Dusty. When I originally wrote this I was under strict guidelines for word count and I never went back in and spiced it up before posting it here. I do appreciate you taking the time to read this and leaving such a nice comment.

[Dusty]

It's no big deal for me. :) I really enjoyed reading it and I'm glad you take my words kindly. :D

[InsanityWriter]

Interesting... Nice twist there at the end. ;) I enjoyed!

[Jack...]

Thank you so much. This was a hard one to write, trying to mislead the reader.

[Frieda P]

Wait, was that a man in the end....I'm confused and my pulse is racing, maybe not enough coffee for me or too much. Some twist Jack...my nightmares belong to you now...!

[Jack...]

Happy you liked it Frieda...I think. :)

[Holly Mason]

superb is right...she does know this cost her the job right?

[Jack...]

yeah I think she kind of figures that out. :)

[Distant horizons]

Excellent. Didn't see her coming at all :-)
Tight lines, full of suspense and to the point with a bam. Superb.

[Jack...]

Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time you read and comment on it.

[Distant horizons]

No worries

[Saichiro Wolftotem]

**Disclaimer: I actually REVIEW stuff, so if you don't like constructive criticism, let me know and I will delete my comment.**

That said, I like this piece. The twist, as has already been mentioned is quite good, however there is one thing I would address:

"Thoughts of, “what if” battled with terrified fears, that raged non-stop. What would happen next? Would this be the end? "

This doesn't really make the impact it should. I get what you're going for, but I think some clever imagery would be a better means to the feeling you're trying to portray. He has JUST woken up. Sure, waking up in ductape on a random Tuesday afternoon is not a good sign, but immediately thinking 'this is the end!' is probably not as realistic as 'how did I get here and how do I escape'.

Otherwise, you've got a leg up on a lot of writers around here. I'll be sure to subscribe.

[Jack...]

Thanks I appreciate it. I will review the piece and se if I can use some of your suggestions. I don't mind constructive criticism, it only makes me a better writer. Thanks.

[Saichiro Wolftotem]

Yay! Thank you for being understanding. So few aren't. lol

[Lucien Maier]

very eerie and haunting. you have a great talent for the twist

[Jack...]

thanks

[Becky C Strukamp]

What a turn of events. Just when I thought I had it figured out, it changed, I love these twists. They keep you on your toes! Is this from a larger version of a story? You have a great knack for story telling. Very descriptive and thrilling to read.

[Jack...]

This was written as a flash fiction, under 400 words. Besides poetry, I love writing FF, it is very difficult, but very rewarding when you can pull it off. Thanks deeply, I am happy you enjoyed it.

[Marie]

This is quite a storyI thought, of course (as you obviously mean the reader to think) that Liz was the one bound and gagged in the basement. Then you flip the ending, and it becomes far more ominous and horrible.

[Jack...]

Thanks, that's how I try to write flash fiction, with an unexpected twist at the end