I Remember

I Remember

A Poem by Jade Mayhew
"

A very (very) old poem, written over a decade ago after my first real relationship came to an end

"
I remember the small things
The moments that seemed almost trivial at the time
But that later made my chest ache

I remember
How it felt the first time you pulled me closer
Tangling me in an embrace
A paper slipped between my fingers
As our hands slipped apart

I remember reading the note a dozen times on my bus ride home

I remember
The nerves
The anxiety that made my heart race after I said yes
How I expected it to be a joke
How I expected you to change your mind

I remember that you didn't

I remember
Skipping the pep rally
To sit in the cafeteria with you
Doing nothing more than talking
And laughing

I remember that you made me laugh a lot

I remember
The embarrassingly ridiculous high school dance
The Halloween one
Where neither of us wore a costume
Because neither of us originally planned to go

I remember being very glad that you showed up

I remember
The song playing from the speakers
With the cafeteria tables removed from the room
Bodies everywhere rotating in slow motion
Your hands like fire on my lower back

I remember the song, it still reminds me of you

I remember
The kiss at that same dance
Because who ever forgets their very first kiss?
The heat that radiated through my entire body
Starting at my lips, and ending at my toes

I remember smiling for hours before falling asleep that night

I remember
How painful the move was
Leaving behind my best friends, my family
My childhood, safe havens
You

I remember not wanting to let go of your hands before I left

I remember
The break up
Polite and almost detached
Unsurprising
We were kids, living three hours apart
No one expected us to stay together

But I remember wishing we had

I remember
Hating you for a while
Because that was the thing that you do with an ex
So I was told
You cut them out, villainize them
It makes the break up hurt less

But I remember that I missed you, even when I hated you

But I remember missing you most of all
When it was late, and I was lonely
When I was in school and had no one to ditch the pep rally with
When there was no curly haired blond boy 
Teasing me and making me laugh

I remember every part of our relationship
The way it began
The way it ended
And everything that followed

I remember wishing to never forget

I remember
Wondering
If you remember

© 2018 Jade Mayhew


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Added on February 16, 2018
Last Updated on February 16, 2018

Author

Jade Mayhew
Jade Mayhew

Radiant Gardens, ME



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