I am so scared.
Shaking.
I know I have to leave.
Today.
But I'd rather die
than leave.
I can't erase him from
my mind.
I want to disappear.
Just hide.
What if I'm wrong
I'll die.
I don't know how this happened
to me.
A closure and beginning too.
Of life.
I can't lose him- please say
I won't.
I wish the world would stop
spinning.
My heart is sick and sore
from love.
I can't believe I'm leaving.
Running?
Running with my fear and trust.
In Him?
What if it dies when I go
away?
Mine won't-I know it can't.
Never.
I can't handle this alone please
help me.
Please say what I have
to hear.
Please say he feels the same.
Just fear.
If this isn't real then I'm not
either.
If he'll forget me forget me now
not then.
In ways I want it to stop now preserved
in time.
Before it has the chance to die
with time.
But no it can't and won't
it's true.
I thought writing would help-
It's not.
I hope he's happy not dying
Like me.
Is it maddness; these thoughts?
This pain?
How will I sleep without him
in peace?
I'll just have to shut myself down...
deep breath.
I'll be strong; I feel weak but no
I'm tough.
I just wish I could stop thinking
so much.