my confession.

my confession.

A Poem by Jamsheed Shafi

yes,you are there everywhere.
whenever I open my eyes in the morning,you are the first thought of my mind.
you are the last thought I could ponder upon before sleeping.
I remember you as frequently as I breathe.
I remember you even when I think I ain't remembering anything.
Looking at the mirror is now a special thing for me.
It's not me who is there , it's you, only you.
Now I smile & smile often without any reason,but the reason is you,only you.
Yes ,I feel you whenever my heart beats.
While walking I don't see my shadow now , I see u ,only you.
I see in others a part of you.
yes you are there everywhere.
yes you are there everywhere...

© 2015 Jamsheed Shafi


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Featured Review

I like the strength in the description and the hope in the words. The poem allowed the reader to figure out what the "You" was in the poem. It felt more spiritual in tone than love. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I beautiful work. I think it can be taken as the love of a lover, friend, a religious figure, or even a dead family member. I personally don't find it as romantic as the other reviewers did, but I think it revolves around a strong love. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I was totally lost in the poem....it made my day, honestly... :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jamsheed Shafi

9 Years Ago

thanks friend.
glad that you liked it.
honest and written with passion.
it's a great read.
Love is special.
new love is amazing.............very well depicted.
i liked it!!
:)
p.s. there might be minor problems with the flow.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Very simple yet cute poem.. Makes one feel light and happy :)

NOTE:
I remember you even when I think I [ain't] remembering anything.
or [ do not remember] anything.. cos when it is a recurring task, it stays in present tense.
please add an apostrophe in its..it's
While walking I don't see my shadow now ,[instead] I see u ,only you.

otherwise it's a cute read :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Its reflection of pure love in your words. Keep writing and one small suggestion we often lose the feeling when we translate our emotions. Let the words fall in your hands on itself and flow from your pen. I know you can write magical things.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very touching piece of poetry it was..especially when taken in the spiritual way. Good job! :)


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, this is so inspiring, beautiful and powerful. So explanatory...now, let me tell you what I got from it. As a believer, “You” means God he is everywhere, inside of me, the one who holds me together. When I look at the mirror I see him, my shadow is no longer mine for he is the shadow that walks along side of me. He is my guardian angel, my other half. This poem reminds me of one of my poem “Imagine him”
Anyways, this is nicely done, and I love the tone of this poem. You captured my attention from the beginning to the end. This poem is also romantic… that is just my point of view.

Thank you for sharing! :D

~Suk

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A cute love poem to read, nicely penned :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

it was nice and lovely. nicely penned.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Simple and elegant :)
You expressed correctly how much love can affect a person. The person we love becomes our only thought. The only thing we think about is them. Though a few correction can make it much better-

(yes you are there everywhere. ) I think there should be a comma after yes. Every small thing matters in poetry.

(I remember you even when I think I amn't remembering anything. ) Did you mean am not or ain't?

(yes you are there everywhere. ) Again I think there should be a comma after there.

Don't get disheartened. As a reviewer I think it's my duty to help you shape your poetry better.
Nice job!
Thank you :)




Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on October 21, 2014
Last Updated on January 3, 2015

Author

Jamsheed Shafi
Jamsheed Shafi

srinagar., kashmir, India



About
Persuing my btech(electrical) at IUST, kashmir. live in a place which was once called ' Heaven on the Earth' but now it is a 'Trouble torn Heaven'. Men were always responsible for altering the .. more..

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