forgiven not forgotten

this poem is a prelude to Lost :)

forgiven not forgotten

Chapter 1

Hours felt like seconds,

you made earth into heaven.

We lie on the beach, watching the stars

in this moment, they seem so close but yet so far

I close my eyes,I wake up to your smile like it is a sun rise

you are my Inner peace,our relationship is a untold story.

That I love to read.

Chapter 2

Somewhere in time, a rift was created that marked a future of a separation

Caught in sinful act,an explanation in silence, it became the rift that divided.

Overcome by regret,tears in your eyes, like you wished for death.

A memory that my heart keeps deep,

my beautiful star on the beach, this is our final chapter that you need to read.


Chapter 3


you are forgiven, but never forgotten.

the time we had, are in my dreams,and I have them often.

Our relationship may become a dusty coffin.

yet you are my sun rise,an angel on this earth that cries

a broken soul from regret and lies.

She opens herself to forgiveness, it might be hard, yet she tries,

the last line reads, forgive yourself before your soul bleeds to death.

Author's Note

This poem is a prelude to Lost.
The poem is a short story and broken into three parts, and comment good or bad they are all welcome :)

Reviews

[fiery-san]

I like the transition here, it didn't seem fragmented and too rushed... nicely done. I've read Lost and I've got to say it fits perfectly with it. Also, the chapters are quite unique especially since it's in a poetic form... Good Job. Keep up the good work. ^_^

[jamal]

Thank Fiery! Your reviews are always welcome and I am happy you like it.

[Frieda P]

I like the idea of three chapters, it suits this piece well, nice write.

[jamal]

thank you for the kind words :)

[Pax]

i LIKE IT, the way you broke it to chapters is really smart...

"you are forgiven, but never forgotten."
~ Memories lives on the heart, they might fade but the feeling will be remembered as it always be charished.
great work!

[jamal]

Thank you for the kind words :) im happy like it.

[skiayly]

I like how you broken it into 3 chapters. Chapter 3 was my favorite part.

[jamal]

thank you Skily :)

[Sir Jaykom]

Chapter 1 was 'it'. I love it.

[jamal]

Thank you! :)

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

I really like the concept of chapters in your poem. Edgar Allan Poe's poem "The Bells" is separated in parts. Anyway, this poem is great. Deep, touching, complex. Thank you for sharing

[jamal]

thank you Greg. Your words were much appreciated

[scripted]

ill keep it simple GOOD!!!!!

[jamal]

Thanks :)

[Erinne S.]

This was beautiful in my opinion! Very descriptive and nothing seemed out of place. My only critique would be... "i close my eyes,i wake up to your smile like it is a sun rise" to capitalize both of the "I's" in this line.
Other than that everything was great in this piece. Well done!

~Erinne

[jamal]

Thank you Erinne for your review :)

[Damien Davison]

This was absolutely beautiful, for real. I thank you for sharing it! Very unique and creative way of laying it out. I enjoyed it!

[jamal]

Thank you :)

[}Echo{]

I love the suspence that is built up, and the mood of this. Great write! :)

[jamal]

thank you Adriana :)

[}Echo{]

:)