I Will Be More

my new life

           I will be more then I am.

 

No more the slave of the sins of my father.

 

I will  rise up to the fight before me.

 

The beginning was his doing the end will be mine.

Author's Note

REST IN PEACE DAD

Reviews

[Ralphy]

The point so clear. Of course you know that the fonts was the first thing i noticed. But the message stands alone even if you didn't use the large fonts. The words flow right to you with an iron clad fist. The past/future seperation "what worked for you doesn't work for me" almost like an fall of idology. Nice write.

[justjenn_2u]

I can see you lived through pain but want to turn that pain into strength. Your words flow with pure determination in this piece. Way to go!

[Michael X]

Jason, powerful, very well written, you capture the heartfelt sentiment
with touching effect, nice job,

[Kiya]

"The beginning was his doing the end will be mine."

Very powerful! No matter what people do to you, they can't change what you do in the end. A very unique style, which is nice in itself. Well done :)

Kiya

[xXx JakBeNimble xXx]

good piece...
great message...
cool ideas

[Mel Stevens]

One thing- then should be than
Again, I suggest a smaller font. I know what you are trying to convey, and sometimes subtlety is better. Overall, nice piece.

[Tai Chi Italy Take Two]

This is a clear message of determination to rise above our beginnings. You are so right that those sins should not be allowed to sit on the shoulders of the innocent. A typo in first line, that should be, 'I will be no more 'than' I am. Otherwise an intriguing first read Jason. Thanks for the friends invite, this was a temporary account and I am using the orginal Tai Account now, but glad to have you as a friend, Tai

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

You go for it! The end indeed should be yours. Do all you want to do and live your life so that there will be no regrets. I liked this piece! :-) Sharon

[Helena]

Bravo my friend! I loved the very positive feel of this poem. Well said! ~ Helena

This is a very powerful poem. I like how its about taking charge! Great poem.

[Nely Amorim]

this poem was referred to me by my bf Albert Freeman. He alone knows why this poem would affect me so strongly. I was blown away, thinking you were in my head. I am taking these words to heart and will remember them. thank you for your insightful truth and courage of sharing.