Breakthrough

This poem is the only way that I can explain the past month and a half

I'm in a hole, a ditch,

The rain pours on me

My miserable... pathetic.... breaking.... being

 

My world is closing in on me

I can't breathe

My heart can't take this pain anymore

 

The water is spilling above me does nothing

To wash away the hurt like I thought it would

 

I'm drowning

 

A rope appears in front of me

I grab it and take one slow step at a time

As I reach the top, a shadowed being

Cuts the rope that holds my hope

And looks at me with cynical eyes

 

I fall for what seems forever

A LIFETIME

My hollow body hits the floor

But I feel nothing but betrayal

 

I'm numb

 

The mud sinks me in

But I do nothing to stop it

"Take me for all I care!!!!" I scream in anger

 

Tears soon start to fall from my face

One for each year in my life

I'm ready to go now

 

Wait...

That noise....

What is it saying?...

 

The noise is so muffled

I'm curious to know. My mind wants to know

I pull this hollow body out the suffocating mud

 

"You"...I hear in a low whisper

 

'Speak louder...please...' my fragile soul whimpers

Soon I find my climbing

Climbing to hear

 

"You ...ar..." it says

 

'No wait I'm coming don't leave!' I say

I start to struggle in my quest

The climb becomes more difficult as I go up

 

The rocks seem farther and farther

Apart as I go up.

I leap with all my might for one rock and grab on to it

And struggling to pull it together and keep moving

Something is filling my body

 

"You Are..." the noise is louder and stronger now

'I am what???Tell me I WANT to know' I scream in desperation

 

I can see the top now...

And the light, a long forgotten

But familiar sight.

I move this now spirited body

 

The end of this quest so near

The rock... the last rock that tempts me so

I grab for it with my blistered bleeding hands

 

It breaks off

 

It seems as though I have failed...again

But this time something strange happens

A hand comes out...

Not one...but many....

 

They pull me up to the surface

I see those friendly faces that I have missed so

The sun shines as they say....

 

"You Are Loved"

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

if you could help me make a title for this poem...it would be greatly apperciated

Reviews

[Stephanie]

Hun, you ARE loved. I remember reading this at your house and wanting to cry because I never knew you'd felt so broken. I will always throw down that rope when you need it :) Anyways, I loved this poem. AS for the name, you could go with the obvious, "I Am Loved" or something more symbolic like "Breakthrough". Up to you. I love you chica!
♥

[Lexi Nicole]

Very powerfully written. I love the word play, it puts so much emphasis on certain things and really makes the piece as a whole pop. I like how the poem builds and gets stronger as it goes on. There's the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness in the beginning, and then the seed of hope is planted and from there all you can do is go up. Great writing!

-Howl

[Lydia]

Loved the poem, hated all the color changes. It distracts from your words and from your message. Other than that though, I loved the flow and rhythm, very nice :)

[Tha Wind AKA VERBAL OX]

u built up alot of suspense with this piece...made interesting an intirguing all the way through...

the title is fine...it says it all

break on thru the other side...

very descripted an involving...i like alot

nice write...

1luv

[Floornine]

You really built this up very well to the point of suspense... you had me climbing with you, wondering what's at the end. Beautifully writen and with such emotion. Thank you for sharing.

[BlessedLove]

I really liked this!

You're drowning as life's trials get the best of you and when you least expect it...help arrives and reassures that you are indeed loved and therefore, you're not alone.

Great write!

God bless!

~~BlessedLove~~;)

[El din Cal]

This is a really good poem. It captured my attention and had me eagerly anticipating the end. Very good read.

[C.J.]

wow this is good and sad at the same time the end you are loved i like that endgood write.