Sadness

I wrote this in a real dark place. I am working through a ton of stuff this is a result of the darkness.

I cried in front of the mirror today

I wish, oh I wish I didn’t feel this way

The sadness is overwhelming

I’m drowning, the depression is building

I feel like I want to slit my wrists

I hate to admit, at times it’s hard to resist

I can’t take it anymore, I need to escape

Is my life just a mistake?

Suicidal thoughts yet I can’t make a change

The pieces of my life I fail to arrange

Why is this so hard for me?

I lie to everyone else, why stop with me?

The fact I do this to myself just breaks my heart

The hate inside of myself is off the chart

It feels like there are two of me, fighting inside

One causes the pain and the other cowers and hides

Instead of overpowering the one that causes me pain

It sits idle, letting the hate fill my brain

I’ve written about the overweight me, time and again

Instead of real change all I do is sit and complain

I’m so tired of having no motivation to fix what’s broken

I wish I knew what it would take for the fire inside to be awoken

What will it take to spark real effort?

An actual mental change where I won’t revert

Do I need an intervention? Like, here, take a seat

If suicidal thoughts and hate wont, do I just retreat?          

Even as I write this I find myself crying

How sad is it, only way I see out is dying?

I don’t have strength, to overcome my demons

I fail and I fail and I fail, shocking how there is always a reason

I avoid my family and my friends

I sit alone and eat and eat, like a rush to the end

I can’t keep feeling this way

I need to fix me, I need to do it today. 

Reviews

[Yashoda]

You got me emotional with this one, it hit the past. I love the way this is expressed and while I was reading it I was thinking 'oh my gosh this is so good', because, I felt it. Deep. Keep writing

[Joshua McNay]

I was emotional when I wrote it, interesting it stirred emotions in you as well. I am glad you liked it. Thank you for the review.

[B. Boileau]

We all have demons my friend. Your words speak loud. It can be hard but always remember it's a matter of choice. .. make the right ones and your mirror won't seem so bad. BTW. Excellent rhyming, you should write poetry....
bill

[Joshua McNay]

Thank you. I am trying to work on the problems I see, It's still very hard. Feels like no end in sight. I am trying however to keep my head held high, even when I don't think I am able. Thanks for the review.