I Didn't Love Me

Just letting out some thoughts on a recent break up. Lost my love because I didn't love myself. this is kind of a jumble of thoughts.

I can't believe I was such a fool.
Turns out it wasn't life but me that was cruel.
I never really thought much of self love,
it was my lack of it that cost me the girl I love.
Not being comfortable in my own skin,
made her patience with me wear thin.
I applaud her for giving me a chance.
For letting my dumb a*s into her pants.
It didn't work out as you might surmise.
Our love, our spark, was gone from her eyes.
I miss her dearly, her voice, her texts.
My relationship fell apart from lack of sex.
I wanted to, believe me I did.
Being around her in that moment, I felt like a kid.
Like at Christmas, you know, full of joy,
Eyes lit up like it's my favorite toy.
It all fell apart when I over thought.
My mind became a rope, with a serious knot.
I tried to undo it and get back in the mood,
next to me was a woman, who was beautiful and nude.
But my effort proved ineffective,
I made her feel unattractive.
We talked the rest of the night, but we'd never be the same.
I really only have myself to blame.
I hurt her that night with my own self doubt,
she was the collateral damage, people rarely talk about.
We drifted apart after that,
back to square one, just me and the cat.
I look back and I see where I failed her,
but loving myself, there's no quick fix, no simple cure.
I already lost someone dear to me,
All because I loved her, but I didn't love me.

Author's Note

Review if you like. Your thoughts and opinions are not only helpful but always appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

beautiful love the last few lines so true!! thanks for another entry into my comps. well done

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Wow like this so honest and love the rhymes we have to love ourselves first this has taken me 58 years to do I’m sixty now lol thanks for entry into my competition good luck 😉

[Sachi Ruaya]

Straightforward and honest! One of the aspects I like in a writer. I can feel your voice in this one. Your unique author's voice. This is why I read poems. I'm reminded, as of human condition, that we make mistakes, fool ourselves and have to be reminded that we are not alone!

Reflective and honest pieces always get me! Would like to see a slightly indirect approach as you can experiment with extended metaphors etc. Could make another version as this one is your reflective piece. Within inspiration and comforting for me!

But either way, I love that it's written in a simple expression. Gathered thoughts and experiences structured in a way I love.

This poem has reached the entrance of the abyss in my heart. Thank you for sharing and your submission to A Poetic Canvas of Reflection and Observance!

Sachiko

[C_theSurrealist]

This poem really speaks the thoughts of heartbroken person. It's expressive the way it is written and the meaning. The readers could really feel the pain because of the good content. Good job.

[Sunwizz]

This poem hit home for me and probably for a lot of people. All your words flow together. This was so heartbreaking but i love all the emotion that was in it.

[WillaDanvers]

This is a very tad tale, and one that is so often true. We get so wrapped up in trying to love someone that we forget to love ourselves, and in doing so, we lost the love that we try so hard to keep. Very well written Joshua

[Theresa]

That touched my heart cause I have felt all that. Very heartfelt

[gabriella]

this is so heartbreaking.. but still this is so relatable. and gosh so emotional

[Natasha Montgomery]

I love the way your poem flows. For me, it's very relatable.

[Mr.Writer]

This is so beautiful... so powerful.... engaging and emotional.
It made me tear up!!! :(

[Joshua McNay]

Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed this piece. I wrote it off hand and am happy it is liked. so Thank you again.

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)