So Not Over You

So Not Over You

A Poem by Riley Bray
"

Even when you know you should be, sometimes you can't help it.

"

Your texts were my alarm clock each morning,
Buzzing to our tune to alert me
And saying, "Morning, sweetie. How are you feeling?"

I would lay in my bed, grasping my heart
And smiling ridiculously as we poked fun at each other
Preparing for the day to start.

And it was wonderful, for a while
But we began to notice the imperfections in each other
And our irritations made for quite the pile.

And you started making me cry
Early in the morning
And very late at night.

Curled up with the teddy bear you gave me last Valentines
Tightly against my chest
And dying slowly inside.

I began not to get a, "Sweet dreams, my love,"
And instead I got squat
And we had nothing to speak of.

And we separated, shortly thereafter,
It was mutual, really,
But still I was haunted by the lack of my laughter.

I was hollow for the longest while,
A case for someone who gave her heart away
And every centimeter step I took, without you, it was a mile.

And then you came back to me,
Begging, honestly,
And for a short time, we were again happy.

But we should have known that those imperfections
Can't be fixed so easily
Because, for the second time, someone else had your affections.

And again, we separated,
I wanted to be the only one you wanted,
But again I felt heavily sedated and saturated.

The next time you wanted me back though,
The hole you made in me by leaving opened wider,
And I had to say no.

I cant allow myself to be a doormat,
Even for the one I loved so deeply,
Because if you truly loved me, our life wouldn't just be a news broadcast.

I saw the hurt in your eyes, or, it was probably actually surprise,
Because I don't think you expected me 
To be the reason for our relationships ultimate demise.

And I still cry myself to sleep at night, sometimes,
Cuddling with the teddy bear you gave me whose stuffed heart was ripped long ago
And I think of what we could have been had you not been full of lies.

And though I know I said I had no more feelings, that we were totally through,
And that you could, "find business elsewhere,"
The truth is, I'm still so not over you.

© 2013 Riley Bray



Author's Note

Riley Bray
This got me on the top writers list. x) Thanks to everyone. xP

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Reviews

This poem has rung so true to exactly what I was looking for and is beautifully written, I could feel the pain, the need, all of it and it was wonderfully written. I have felt like that before and it can be the most horrible pain in the entire world but showing the strength of one's will as well. Wonderful job, truly.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much Charisma, I'm happy you like it. :)
This would make a great country song and it also tells a beautiful, yet heart breaking story of how so many of us have felt. Well written!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
Hello Riley, I've just joined the writer'scafe and you were top of the writers to watch panel so I read some of your stuff. It's very good. I particularly like the conversational tone and the everyday language mixed in with the big 'how I'm feeling' stuff. The alarm clock at the beginning is lovely. The story aspect of getting back together and breaking up again is lovely. All in all a really nice mix of styles and I suppose all from experience.
Also interested to see you write haiku. I love the Japanese sensibility. I will look at some of those later.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Well first of all, welcome to writerscafe! (I'll review you when I'm not on my phone). Next, I have .. read more
"And I still cry myself to sleep at night, sometimes/Cuddling with the teddy bear you gave whose stuffed heart was ripped long ago"--great lines/great images.

I find this piece enchantingly mournful; hauntingly melodic. I like the feelings and the way that you penned this one, because I can relate to it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
Made me cry.
I relate to this so much.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Good. :3
And I think of what we could have been had you not been full of lies.

Love all lines except the above, I think needs to rephrase? what you think? it is up to you :).

I love the thought of this piece, very true and honest, such captivating words truly comes from the heart. Keep writing and thanks for sharing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Marc Marlon Villaflor

4 Years Ago

Lol :) you will do it then I will second demotion hehehe keep kicking Riley :)
Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Lol alrighty then.
Marc Marlon Villaflor

4 Years Ago

:) ok
there's an old saying..."women don't know what they want/men don't know what they have" and we are just ignorant and callous enough to refer to this malady as each other's "imperfections"...honestly, i love the poem you presented here, it tells a sad, relate-able story of all the ages...but we still never learn... it is the littlest things which affect us so much and we are thinking too large to notice them. very nice work~!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
quinfinn

4 Years Ago

you're welcome
btw, is that a picture of you? if not, why did you choose that pic?

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Haha no, its not. I chose the picture because it seemed this girl was remimiscing and seemed like sh.. read more
Nice! This is great, like a story in poem form. Beautifully crafted to bring my mind through your thoughts. I liked it, but again, kinda hurt a little. Either way, wonderfully done.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Again, sorry if it was upsetting. Thank you for the review. :)
Jeremia

4 Years Ago

As I said, it was great. Thanks for sharing.
Modern romance so heavily filled in this poem with extremely true emotions. Love the confessional line "The truth is, I'm still so not over you."
Thank you for this beautiful read.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riley Bray

4 Years Ago

Thanks for the review. :) I'm glad you liked it.

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Added on April 25, 2013
Last Updated on August 22, 2013

Author

Riley Bray
Riley Bray

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