Widespread Apologies

Please read, this is not as long as it looks, its mostly pictures.

To my dear dad,

I'm sorry that I love you

I'm sorry I always badger you about your packs and drinks

I'm sorry that in a competition between cigarettes and alcohol, and me, I lose.

I'm sorry you aren't a poet anymore

I'm sorry you never come visit me on weekends and holidays

I'm sorry that you worry me,

But I'm mostly sorry that if you don't turn your life around, I won't see you before you die.

To my grandparents,

I'm sorry if you think I'm being snappy

I'm sorry if you think I've lost tolerance for family traditions

I'm sorry if I've disappointed you

I'm sorry if you disapprove of my computer time

I'm sorry if you're angry with my generation

I'm sorry if you hate me but mom and I still need to live with you

But I'm mostly sorry that we can't have a good relationship in your final years.

To my cousin Alexis,

I'm sorry that we grew up together

I'm sorry that I'm older than you by only three months and that makes you angry

I'm sorry we were so close

I'm sorry that you hate me for my lack of popularity now.

I'm sorry that I miss talking to you

I'm sorry that I'm more mature than you

But most of all I'm sorry you've gotten yourself into drugs and alcohol and won't ask for help.

To my mother

I'm sorry I didn't put you above Alexis

I'm sorry I don't want you to baby me anymore

I'm sorry I want my privacy

I'm sorry our relationship is rocky

I'm sorry it took so long to tell you my heart hurt

I'm sorry I don't want you in my life so much

But most of all I'm sorry I'm not your best friend anymore.

To my best friend Abby,

I'm sorry you think I'm intruding on your privacy

I'm sorry you think I'm trying to ruin your life

I'm sorry I want to protect you at all costs

I'm sorry I love you

I'm sorry you think I'm a bad friend

I'm sorry I want you to trust me for real

But most of all I'm sorry we aren't what we used to be

To my other best friend Tiara,

I'm sorry I couldn't save your grandpa from his cancer

I'm sorry I'm the only one you can talk to about your feelings

I'm sorry I don't always know what to do

I'm sorry I love you

I'm sorry I want to make sure you're happy

But most of all, I'm sorry I can't always be with you

And an overall apology to everybody,

I'm sorry I existed in your life,

And I'm sorry I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry I've caused ripples.

Reviews

[Delaney]

This is such a heart-breaking piece, and I can personally connect with it to some degree. Like with your father and your two best friends, I can see the struggle in you reflects the struggle I have myself. It is natural to feel bad when the ones we love are not happy, because of us or not, but we cannot always make life beautiful for everybody, sometimes they must do that themselves. I loved and hated this piece, simply because it's beautiful but it is harm, also. Mostly, I hope you find some type of common ground for yourself, whether it be present with these people in your life or not. Very nice good, but I hope to never see this beautiful, torturous kind of poetry from you again! Well, at least for it to get better for you- I know you deserve that. Nicely done, however!

Yours truly, Delaney

[Riley Bray]

That's very nice of you, Delaney. I'm sorry it tortured your mind so, ha. Thank you very, very much for the review~!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. We can't make all people happy. Sometime for us to find our path and dreams. We will hurt the people we love. Real love is never forgotten. I like the set-up and the description in each set of lines. First step is to be sorry. Second step is to hold on to love and family forever. You will need them and they will need you. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Riley Bray]

Its correct that things will break on the struggle to find the right path for oneself. Thanks for the review Coyote. :)

[Shivam Murari]

This is a really painful piece Riley. The heat of suffering is so high that it radiates all around. The use of photos is so effective. Shelved into my library :')

[Riley Bray]

Thank you so much Shivam. :)))

[Rita L. Sev]

Riley, this was clearly a painful piece for you to write, but I hope it was cathartic for you to do so. If a friend of yours said that she was going to make these apologies, you would wisely tell her this: These things are not your fault. The only person we ever really have to forgive is ourselves - and then we need to let go and move on.
This is indeed the stuff of poetry - the line that choked me the most: "To my dear Dad... I'm sorry you aren't a poet anymore." Sometimes other people's shortcomings are harder than our own. Excellent poem.

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much Rita. :) I agree that others mistakes are sometimes harder to handle than our own, especially if you see those problems in progress and are unable to fix it for them. Thank you very much for your review, it is ever and always appreciated. :)

[Lina Grey]

this sounds familiar.
i can feel all the emotion you've put into this; it's very heavy and sorrowful. the pictures are great additions, too. i love how specific it gets, apologies to everyone you love most, because they deserve to know how you feel. are they going to get to read it?
the ending is strong, an overall sense of rejection and failure, that, in my opinion, is not truthful to who you are, but shows the emotions wonderfully and really implants it the readers mind. "I'm sorry I've caused ripples." boom. direct and indirect failure. powerful.
but, you should still know, that i, for one, am thankful to know you. even if this is only an e-friendship doll. you're insightful, helpful, your poetry is brilliant, and you really care, about what you say/do and about others. everyone is in a different place in their life, and not everything is smooth sailing, but that's no reason to give up on yourself. not everything is your fault. your existence is not a mistake; it's a blessing. some people just need time, space, etc.
this is beautiful, hun, very emotional and beautiful :)

[Riley Bray]

Haha sorry. :P I did send this to Tiara, and I have a feeling Abby will stumble upon this since she checks this site out, but I don't know if I really want the others to read it haha. I feel like there is a difference between letting strangers on the internet and people I actually have to talk to see it, haha. Its very sweet of you to flatter me, and I must say I'm very glad to know you too, Lina. I understand that people need space sometimes, but I am one of those people that lives to please my friends and I get nosy when they won't tell me whats wrong. :P Again, thanks for the review. :D

[Lina Grey]

don't be :P I know what you mean with that. Only my closest friends that i trust most of all are allowed to read all my poetry. All of them except for have accounts on here, but half of them don't ever come on anymore. it's much easier to share these things with internet strangers than the people whose reactions i'll have to deal with :P haha, flattery. i always forget that it's considered flattery to compliment people like that... i call it honesty. not even joking XP i know what you mean. one of my best friends is like that. but it's not a bad thing. the fact that you know you do it means you can catch yourself and try to make it better. it just means that you care. a lot.... oh, and you're welcome :)

[Riley Bray]

Still, that's ridiculously nice of you, thank you so much! If there is one thing I can pick out about myself, its my flaws. I'm pretty sure its like that for most people. :P You're pretty awesome, you know that? X3

[Lina Grey]

haha thank you? I'm the kind of person who thinks nothing of herself and everything of everyone else. introspection adds ten pounds of criticism, aye :3

[Riley Bray]

Haha aye. X3

[Lina Grey]

:D

[She With Eyes Like Unsh..]

Wow. This poem was really sad, (I almost cried) but beautiful in your simplicity.

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much. :) I almost cried the first time I read it after I posted it as well, but since then I guess I've gotten used to it haha. Thanks again for the review Tears!!

[Phillitup]

Hey,
I greatly appreciated your review for one of my poems and it really got me thinking so I thought I'd hop over to your page and read something you wrote. If it was provoking I'd leave something for you and I'd read on until I found something I loved. Then I planned to send you a friend request because you seem legitimately amazing and dedicated to writing. Well, I didn't have to read long. This is the first thing I clicked on because the title lured me in, so interesting. And may I say, the actual text did not disappoint! I was amazed by your eloquence. Anyone mentioned in this who reads this will cry, I almost cried and I don't know you! I hope I do get to know you some though (not in a creepy way, lol). I'm sorry that you feel this way, like everyone is mad at you. There's light in the world, all around in fact. Just look to your left of the path you're on and I'm sure you'll catch sight and take the fork that leads that way. Beautiful. Absolutely stunning, truly. Thanks for sharing this Riley...:)

-Dell

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much for your intense flattery, Dell, it means a lot. I'm glad you can feel the emotion crammed into this, because I did try. Also, I would be more than happy to get to know you in a non-creepy way as well. :P Though it may be hard to tell, I do see and embrace the light, although I do feel that everyone is mad at me most of the time, heh. Thank you very much for the review and I look forward to our friendship. :))

[Phillitup]

Anytime Riley!

[Zoe Marie Ross]

What a sad and truthful poem. I hope the people you have written this too have a chance to read it, and maybe you can mend some or all of the bridges. :)

[Riley Bray]

I hope so too...though I don't know that reading this would work for a lot of those people hehe. Thank you for the review.

[Savior of Time]

Very emotional. You don't ever have to be sorry for who you are. You can't really change who you really are on the inside, but beautifully written. I loved it.

[Riley Bray]

"You don't ever have to be sorry for who you are." Does that also work for angry with yourself? Anyyyyway, thank you for reading, it is greatly appreciated.

[Savior of Time]

Yes, it does, Riley. You're welcome. c:

-Willa

[Larul]

Oh Chi, I'm so sorry. ;~; You know I love you! //Tears up. - I understand.

[Riley Bray]

Nami-sannnn. ;~; I love you too girl. ;~;