WALK AWAY

A little something for change in the new year.

I wonder

I wonder

I wonder why it goes

I deny it

Try to fight it

Against the way it flows

I ignore it

I deplore it

Try to push it far away

But I fear it

I'm too near it

And it haunts me every day

For circling in the skies are things

I wish I could disguise

That melt to crystal teardrop

And it makes me realize

That I’m part of it

Not above it

And I’m not the way I was

Oh, I hate it

Execrate it

And everything it does

So I’ll change it

Rearrange it

Try to start another day

Then I’ll stop it

Yeah, I'll stop it

And I’ll turn and walk away

 

…Jeff Bresee

Reviews

[Emma Joy]

Love the rhythm of the lines .. can hear it so clearly. Not sure if this poem is intended as lyrics but could so easily be ..

'And it makes me realize That I’m part of it Not above it And I’m not the way I was Oh, I hate it Execrate it And everything it does ' .. don't we all feel like that sometimes about something .. trouble is we can't put it as finely as you have!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

ooooo i likes it.
Great Job

[M.A. Living [Proud Momm..]

wow,
i absolutely love the flow!

Your rhthm and style are both catching and distracting,
a good piece should have those things indeed.

I'm glad i came across your piece,
only i am so sorry that I didn't get to is sooner, as you have requested some time ago.

~*M.A.Living*~

[TL Boehm]

I too think this would work well as a song.

[Sarah]

This definitely sounds like the lyrics to a song. Maybe it was the repetition or the unique rhyme scheme, I don't know. Anyway, I liked the topic - finding out that you're just a small part of the world - and also the line "for circling in the skies are things / i wish i could disguise" - beautiful imagery. :)

[Domo]

I favor the meaning of it over its structure, but it is still very much worthy of 100/100. Very god job Jeff. Keep it up.

[Idyllwyld]

"And it makes me realize /
That I’m part of it /
Not above it /
And I’m not the way I was "

Makes me think of Life itself. How very existential of you. Or rather, no more different or special then "How's the weather?"

[<3beneathstars;]

genuine. i loved it.

[Tate Morgan]

this is a interesting new idea in ways to write and set out a poem i like it

[Frifthor (D^2)]

I admit I was a bit iffy when you repeated the first line three times, but after that you definitely brought it up. And in the context the repetition works once you look back at it, although it does stick out from the rest of the piece. As usual a very good job

[mattavelli]

this is a very good rhyme. It leaves me thinking, what are you ashamed of ? what have you been doing man? And I"m thinking of the things i've done.