Fur Elise :)

Fur Elise :)

A Poem by Jen Marks
"

Based on my Nicholas Jonas story, "You Can Call Me Crazy." (Written in Ellie's point of view.) I will probably post the song somewhere soon once it gets to this point in the story! :)

"

Knowing she's already gone

Soul shining like the sun

And I'm okay

Streetlights will shine up ahead

Knowing the words that she said

And I'm okay

 

Smoke will drift on by

My tears will aim for the sky

She's gone

And I'm still alive

 

Lord, reign down on me

Sky as blue as the sea

Tell me who I'm supposed to be

In times

Like these

 


© 2010 Jen Marks



Author's Note

Jen Marks
This is pretty much only the first verse and chorus. I think I might just leave it like this, though, since I love the simplicity of it. LET ME KNOW if I should keep working on it, or just leave it be!! ♥

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Featured Review

love it.

you dont necessarily need alot of stanzas to make a good song. house/trance songs have little words, but the beats help make it extraordinary.

if you were to edit it, i would add another stanza or 2 at the end. maybe describing the harsh times your referring to in a more descriptive way. bringing out more imagery.
"...in times where skies can be gray
and storms can be suffocating to the soul.
where bleeding knives fumble when i play,
how can i fill up this empty hole?"

thats just an example of what i mean. anyway, overall this is a good write,
good job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

very good:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


I am not much of a lycircsist but this strikes me as a good beginning verse Having no sense of music myself I am hesident to comment on such writeings.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This was really awesome. Every stanza was very beautiful. I even tried to put it into Beethoven's rhythm in my head, and it still flowed great lol. Awesome job! :)

B.A.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Another very good song.

The title screams to be Times Like These.

This song demands to be a full story. You are setting the audience to want to hear how, why, where, when and more about the who. You may be too close to it now but later you can expand a bit at a time.

The good news is that each set of verses stand alone, so it was worthy of posting as is.

:-)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

love it.

you dont necessarily need alot of stanzas to make a good song. house/trance songs have little words, but the beats help make it extraordinary.

if you were to edit it, i would add another stanza or 2 at the end. maybe describing the harsh times your referring to in a more descriptive way. bringing out more imagery.
"...in times where skies can be gray
and storms can be suffocating to the soul.
where bleeding knives fumble when i play,
how can i fill up this empty hole?"

thats just an example of what i mean. anyway, overall this is a good write,
good job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sound really great and I look forward to reading more...keep up the good work

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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939 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 30, 2009
Last Updated on January 7, 2010
Tags: mother, lyrics, poem, love, loss, soul, renewal, tears, heartbreak, death, life, living, lord, god, spirit

Author

Jen Marks
Jen Marks

Toronto, ON, Canada



About
Listen to my music here: YouTube / MySpace then one by one the stars would all go out ♥ Nicholas Jonas: You Can Call Me Crazy more..

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