Castle In The Air

Castle In The Air

A Poem by Jen Marks
"

This is the first rock song I ever wrote (all the others were mainly pop or folk). I based it off Elise's scenario in my story, "You Can Call Me Crazy" (how her mom died, etc).

"

[VERSE:]

 

Silent eyes " blank and serene

Do you know what these eyes have seen?

Put a stop to this, and intervene

I need to break this daily routine, yeah

 

Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday

How can you miss me if I don't go away?

Now it feels like forever and a day

A little laughter can go a long way...yeah, yeah!

 

[CHORUS:]

 

When it feels like you're not going anywhere

You're always in that castle in the air, whoa!

Your whole life, unaware, spells out despair

You're in need of some tender loving care

 

[VERSE:]

 

Victim to my eyes and my mind

All these thoughts are intertwined

Do I really want to fall behind?

Hope is something that I really need to find, yeah

 

Sometimes I feel like I am all alone

Although I have no hardships of my own

Just let me loose and I'll be free to roam

This could be my new foundation stone...whoa, whoa!

 

[CHORUS:]

 

When it feels like you're not going anywhere

You're always in that castle in the air, whoa!

Your whole life, unaware, spells out despair

You're in need of some tender loving care

 

[BRIDGE:]

 

I wish that you knew how I feel

You're the one that has all of the personal appeal

My head is spinning; my mind is racing

We need a deal

I'll stay here, and you'll aid me until I heal

 

[CHORUS:]

 

Yeah, when it feels like you're not going anywhere

You're always in that castle in the air, whoa!

Your whole life, unaware, spells out despair

You're in need of some tender loving care

 

[CHORUS:]

 

When it feels like you're not going anywhere

You're always in that castle in the air

Your whole life, unaware, spells out despair

You're in need of some tender loving care

You're in need of some tender loving care


© 2010 Jen Marks



Author's Note

Jen Marks
Ignore the constant rhyming; I like how it turned out.
By the way, "Castle In The Air" means "day-dreaming!" :)

youtube.com/kneecaplollipop
myspace.com/jenmarks

♥Jen Marks

My Review

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Featured Review

I caught that you mean day dreaming before reading your note. I like the Upbeat style of rock that you decide to use for this song. I like the verses they were perfect on timing and on how they related to the song and each other. I don't care to much for the repetition using a lot of chours does take away from the beauty in my book but I am not one to judge I do that myself. I Would rate this a 90 out of 100 and It's hard to get good reviews out of me... Good job

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A bit of a drag..

Posted 4 Years Ago


Awww go on I thought it meant I was to climb up the princess' looong braid and rescure her highness from a "fate worse than death" Ha ha ha, Really liked this one enjoyed the heck out of it I did!

Posted 8 Years Ago


I could actually here myself singing this song whilst in the car or bumming around wherever. I particularly loved this line " Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday" . I am such a huge day dreamer, almost too much of one. I felt like this was a little story I reading, it flows so nicely. Great Job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love this...i'm a HUGE daydreamer...lol...and i love the line "Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday." That is such a true statement. Very nice!

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is gorgeous! I really like this. The rhyming was no problem at all. Great great job. (:

-Mary

Posted 8 Years Ago


I caught that you mean day dreaming before reading your note. I like the Upbeat style of rock that you decide to use for this song. I like the verses they were perfect on timing and on how they related to the song and each other. I don't care to much for the repetition using a lot of chours does take away from the beauty in my book but I am not one to judge I do that myself. I Would rate this a 90 out of 100 and It's hard to get good reviews out of me... Good job

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like the wordplay in this one. Nice choice of vocab in your intro. I like how instead of saying you were day dreaming you made up your own phrase. Very kewl! Keep writing!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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1272 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 4, 2009
Last Updated on January 7, 2010
Tags: poem, lyrics, story, rock, song, elise, silence, serene, eyes, today, tomorrow, worry, yesterday, longing, daydreaming, life, despair, love, victim, alone, hardships, foundation, renewal, mind, help

Author

Jen Marks
Jen Marks

Toronto, ON, Canada



About
Listen to my music here: YouTube / MySpace then one by one the stars would all go out ♥ Nicholas Jonas: You Can Call Me Crazy more..

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