The Dark In Me

An attention starved w***e is what I am
I surround myself with despair
I want to help- but they push me away
Death is my best friend
Hate is my lover
What I fear most is what I want most
I don't believe in love- only lust
Nobody has been granted my trust
Opinions left and right
The whispers in my mind say I've chosen wrong
Can it be?
That I pick the choices that will hurt me most?
Why?
Happiness is overrated