blindsided.

blindsided.

A Chapter by jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)

the quick smile he gave
sparked a flavour on her tongue
like sugar;
her tastebuds so conquered,
it wasn't long before he'd placed
his missing socks and
favourite slippers
in a corner of her heart
to stay




© 2010 jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)


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Featured Review

"sparked a flavour on her tongue ...like sugar;" ...

Now, now, now.. if this was a real poetry book out on the market I'd be the first to own this. I think you're one of my favourite poetic preachers! I agree with Gandre though, the word sugar would be better if it was home, it does have a nice tie in with socks and slippers!

With such short, simple words you create movies! Well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

awe. that is so cool.

Posted 13 Years Ago


lol...missing socks and favorite slippers....yeah. AWESOME little write! these shorts really pack some emotional kick!
cheers!

Posted 13 Years Ago


such smiles are rare...and placements few

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

such a poet

Posted 13 Years Ago


Awwwww...its like getting your own underwear drawer. "sparked a flavour on her tongue" brilliant. These are so addicting, better than pizza and wings.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the idea of the sugar. Its gritty and has substance. It then melts away and coats everything. I can compare that to the jolt of seeing someone who gives your heart flutters. This poem was sweet. An unexpected surprise can be an inspiration.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"sparked a flavour on her tongue ...like sugar;" ...

Now, now, now.. if this was a real poetry book out on the market I'd be the first to own this. I think you're one of my favourite poetic preachers! I agree with Gandre though, the word sugar would be better if it was home, it does have a nice tie in with socks and slippers!

With such short, simple words you create movies! Well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like this one - the metaphor is intelligently poised within this poem.. Mixing the mundane and everyday with the straight-forward poetic. A better way to express this would be to say that it begins almost erotically (tongue & tastebuds) and then moves in to the 'husband and wife' comfort of security (socks and slippers)... In fact, through my perverse eyes, it could even be seen to reflect the whole inevitability of a relationship...Beginning with sex and ending with ordinary acceptance...

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I would change the sugar word for home
home - in my opinion - also nicely correlates with socks and slippers and with the word stay

such a desire from the depth is authentic poem, I like authenticity. Wishing for love presents to the desiring subject the object of her desire “to stay" . I hope - you are not bothered that I suggested this? love you Jennie. Please, also make such suggestions in my work! I think, the fact - what we take or what not, is not important, it is just about how this poem rings with the reader.

I loved these subtle hints which I always find in your work. Also, thank you for taking time to read my poems.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this ending a lot. A beautiful image and a new way to express love. The only thing I would change would be the repetition of taste.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 2, 2010
Last Updated on June 3, 2010


Author

jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)
jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)

Vancouver, BC, Canada



About
Playful and eager to explore new styles of writing, and to hone my skills. i'm reaching a point now where i can write a poem and be able to say that it is something i really like. I'm an avid reader, .. more..

Writing