bleary-eyed wishes.

when dreaming's done

the world arises

to capture the morning dew

in a coffee cup - 

sipping quietly as she stumbles

to fumble at the light switch

turning my sky into porcelain pastels

every morning, without fail

someone needs to take her out,

show her a time,

and maybe the next morning 

she'll sleep in a little,

just a little...

then perhaps i can, too.

Reviews

[Crowley]

mmmmmm....not sure if this is sad, frustrated, melancholy or resigned. I can read any of those into this. She definitely deserves at least that....if not more. It may not be any of those and if not, it is an astute observation. If taken at face value...I can't sleep when my significant other is up....its impossible. I loved this.

[Aimee Mahathy]

I liked this. :3
The imagery was perfect, or rather, the lack thereof. It wasn't overloaded, you know? But that one word "pastels" made it perfect for me. I saw this through a hazy filter, and I loved it.

[R J Askew]

The first four lines are a brilliant little trip. I like reading them backwards and working back to the dream state. And I wish someone wld take me out and show me a time. I wonder which time of the day people wld vote the absolute best ... I bet it wld be sometime on a Friday!

[D.R. Wilsey Jr.]

It seems as though I have found another writer among many on this site who has the ability to grab my attention and show me some truly wonderful writing.

[celyn]

ah, this is so pretty and refreshing. full of elegant description 'turning my sky into porcelain pastels'.. wonderful. can't wait to read more of your writing.

[Michael X]

I love the way you write so eloquently, this poem encapsulates emotion,
and the last to lines circumevnt the dreaming feeling of a longing.
you capture poetry artistically j.w

[Moonflower]

This is a short, but vivid little scene, just enough to make me wonder what is really going on. ;) Nice work.

[Robin]

sounds like your vessel needs time on the water

[paul]

wonderful little gem, of a poem.

[c.m.]

Hmmm....this one leaves me tearing up, my fingers tingling and heart pumping. I absolutely love this. Couldn't have written it better. Hell, I couldn't have written it at all. Wonderful piece.