name pending.

Olive had been in love since the day she was born. Since the very day she first opened her eyes, she had felt the ever-present sensation of love on the cusp of happening. Olive knew intimately what a bubble felt just before it popped - she'd been living on the precipice of the greatest thing anyone could ever know, for far longer than anyone had ever before. And all in hopeful silence.

She didn't know his face, and the name she chose to give him in her mind changed daily, sometimes hourly. She knew the unique pattern of his heartbeat, though, because it mirrored her own. She listened for it wherever she went; crowded malls, rush hour subway trains... Olive kept her feelers out night and day, just in case. Once, when she was 8, she'd thought she'd caught a glimmer of a flash in the eyes of an older boy's caramel hazelnutty glance, but it was through the windows of trains going in entirely opposite directions. Olive was undeterred, however, for she knew it was a sign that the universe would give her the other soul she'd yearned for. It was merely telling her to hold on, not give up.

She could wait, she knew. There were things in this life that were waited for that deserved far less time then they were given; cable guys, customer service reps, FedEx package deliverers. This was far more worthwhile, far more satisfying.

So Olive waited. And watched. And ached. Until one day, at thrity-four, she was late for work. She charged out the door, flinging her hair into a ponytail, clutching a lemon poppyseed muffin in her teeth, and attempting to jingle her pockets into having enough change for the bus. She had just navigated her arms into her finally right-side-up jacket and rounded a corner, when she smashed headlong into a taller, stronger figure. This taller stronger figure knocked her firmly on her bum, muffin skittering off onto the busy sidewalk. A hand entered her abruptly de-frazzled field of vision, and she looked up into the most gorgeous caramel hazelnutty eyes she'd ever seen...

Reviews

[Rory CJ Frankson]

I think this is an awesome draft... it would in the end, make a good novel.
Write it out on a word processor, use what you have here and give the reader the between. Connect the dots. I hope I'm not being negative for you, as I'm not trying to be cutting. I like the flavour of your writing and it has a new and unique suburban edge and feel. People are relating to the emotional quality of this work and its prose style phrasing. For me, I have to say: it leaves me craving the story. Some of the elements didn't in the end, connect for me. I will still library this and look in to see what your doing with it. I respect your verbalage, your choice of words are quite excellant. You will be an very proficiant writer and I think it only requires, a solid revealed plot dynamic. To pull a random feeling story like this together.
Well you know...
I may have missed it, considering it is named 'Snapshot Worlds' I say;
Go the extra yardage and become, a novelist!
Write On / Right On... Romon in Review.

[Coyote Poetry]

A wonderful chapter shared. I like Olive. She is a wonderful and kind character. Thank you Jennie for sharing the amazing chapter. I enjoyed this one.
Coyote

[Ed Hart]

is that the way is happened, jennieolivewren

[Crowley]

Those eyes sound delicious! lol....You have the best way of bringing life right into focus with your fabulous tales of.....well.....of existence is the best way I can put it. Life is so real and so like it should be when it flows from that pen of yours. You have an eye for how things feel, look and just are. Wonderful stuff.